Attack of the Killer B(arbie)s

In the interests of my sanity, I’m writing this editorial while simultaneously subjecting myself to Jess Franco’s “Killer Barbys”, a film which does a great deal to restore my confidence in him as the European version of Ed Wood Jr. It’s a particularly dumb horror movie about the titular rock band – actually called the Killer Barbies, so whoever did the credits wasn’t paying attention. Unless, that is, there’s a surprise ending in which they all get massacred by psychopathic barbecues…but I’m not getting my hopes up. Said band’s tour-bus breaks down in the inevitable fog-bound forest, and they find themselves rescued by someone who…well, I’m not quite sure what he is, but I think we can cast doubts on his sanity. It’s all going to end in tears…

You can probably tell, I am right down at the bottom of the video pile, in the unsolicited crap section, enlivened by a steady diet of fourth season Buffy + Angel episodes, courtesy of Chris in the States. These are a real mind-twister when added in to the season 2 Buffy I’m watching on BBC2, and not forgetting the third season which finished last night on Sky. Keeping them straight in my mind is tough, but with a touching devotion to the belief that it does make sense, I’ll pull through. It helps that Buffy 4 is kicking serious butt in comparison: the action sequences are a quantum leap forward, the plots are great, and the characters continue to develop. On balance, it’s probably my favourite TV series just now, with Xena flagging badly in a welter of “drama” — the great thing about Buffy is that Joss Whedon et all never forget it is, first and foremost, entertainment.

I’m not quite so convinced by ‘Angel’, which sees Big Brooding Guy hived off to Los Angeles, along with graduate-level bitch Cordelia and an Irish sidekick to form a detective agency. So far, it has been alright, rather than outstanding: I always regarded Angel as a drip, so was glad to see him leave Buffy. He has toughened up, however, and the presence of Cordelia is very welcome. Irish sidekick, however, seems pointless and I believe he has now left the series. I’ll give it a bit longer, since it did take Buffy a few episodes to find her feet and for the characters to mesh.

This marathon video session is slated to continue for the rest of the weekend, since I’ve got the house to myself, and needn’t worry about the etiquette of inflicting ‘Killer Barby/ies’ on my housemates. I feel the need to sulk in stately splendour this weekend, having had my annual appraisal at work. The words “motivation” cropped up at least four times — usually closely preceded by “lack of”. Can they mean me? 🙂 Well, I suppose it counts as fair comment, and it could have been much worse: “does the absolute minimum work necessary to prevent termination of employment” would have been a fairly accurate assessment.

Perhaps a change of career is in order. I could always wander round graveyards at night. Or maybe lurk in dark corners, brooding and looking mournful. Or, looking at ‘Killer Barb-whatevers’ (the dwarves have just started dancing), I’ve clearly got enough talent to make it in the Spanish horror film industry…