Needless to say, the above worked considerably better as a printed publication than in an online format. I’m not going to make you read the remainder of the issue back to front, and have reversed the pages for you. You’re welcome!

10 Potentially useful Japanese phrases*

* subject to word-processing limitations!!

1. Joshi-inransho – nymphomania.
2. Uguisu no tani-watari – literally, a nightingale jumping back and forth over a narrow valley – a less florid translation is a man in bed with two women.
3. Rimbyo – gonorrhea. Slightly more poetically, the lonely disease.
4. Nikuyoku no gonge – the embodiment of lust.
5. Kobu-maki wo suru – ‘kobu-maki’ is a roll of seaweed with a dried fish inside. This phrase is actually a geisha term for the first love act with a patron after the New Year.
6. Wakame-zake – During ‘O-Shogatsu’, a geisha may disrobe for one or more favoured clients, lie on her back and clasp her legs together tightly. A guest will pour sake over her pelvic region from where he then begins to imbibe like a horse at a watering-trough. The floating motion of the pubic hairs in the puddle of sake is fondly imagined to resemble the motion of the seaweed wakame in the ocean.
7. Danshu Tomo no Kai – Alcoholics Anonymous.
8. Tokkuri to shinj– suru – To die from excessive drinking. Literally, to commit double suicide with a sake bottle.
9. Zakone suru – the characters mean miscellaneous fish sleeping. It also means sleeping together in groups promiscuously i.e as done by Japanese rock bands.
10. Kary–kai – flower & willow world. More usefully, red-light district.