Conspiracy Corner

#1. UFO’S EXIST, THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT KNOW ABOUT THEM AND HAVE RECOVERED A CRASHED ALIEN CRAFT, WHICH IS KEPT HIDDEN IN A USAF BASE.

“On April 30th, 1964, the first communication between the aliens and the U.S. government took place at Holloman Air Force Base in New Mexico…During the period of 1969-71, Majestic-12 representing the U.S. government made a deal with these creatures, called E.B.E’s (Extraterrestrial Biological Entities)…The ‘deal’ was that in exchange for ‘technology’ that they would provide, we agreed to ‘ignore’ the abductions that were going on…The EBE’s assursed MJ-12 that the abductions (usually lasting about 2 hours) were for the ongoing monitoring of developing civilizations. In fact the purposes for the abductions turned out to be:

  1. The insertion of a 3mm spherical device through the nasal cavity of the abductee into the brain. The device is used for biological monitoring, tracking and control of the abductee.
  2. Implementation of posthypnotic suggestion to carry out a specific activity during a specific time period, the actuationof which will occur within the next 2 to 5 years.
  3. Termination of some people so that they could function as living sources for biological material and substances.
  4. Termination of individuals who represent a threat to the continuation of their activities.
  5. Effect genetic engineering experiments
  6. Impregnation of human females and early termination of pregnancies to secure the crossbreed infant.

[Example] Sgt. Jonathan P. Louette…was found three days after an Air Force Major had witnessed his abduction by a ‘disk shaped’ object at 0300 hrs while on a search for missile debris downrange. His genitals had been removed, [his] rectum cored out in a surgically precise ‘plug’ up to the colon, eyes removed and all blood with, again, no vascular collapse. From some of the evidence it is apparent that this surgery is accomplished…while the victim…is still alive.

The various parts of the body are taken to various underground laboratories, one of which is known to be near the small New Mexico town of Dulce. This joint occupied (CIA/Alien) facility has been described as enormous, with huge tiled walls that go on forever. Witnesses have reported huge vats filled with amber liquid, with parts of human bodies being stirred inside.

During the period between 1979 and 1983, it became increasingly obvious to MJ-12 that things were not going as planned…Part of MJ-12 wanted to confess the whole scheme and shambles it had become to the public, beg their forgiveness and ask for their support. The other part ( and majority ) of MJ-12 argued that there was no way they could do that…and the best plan was to continue the development of a weapon that could be used against the EBE’s under the guise of SDI (Strategic Defence Initiative) which has nothing whatsoever to do with a defence for inbound Russian nuclear missiles.”

[The above passages come, not from an unmade Hollywood screenplay, but from ’20/20 Vision’, a journal produced by the Yorkshire UFO Society. They may be contacted at 15 Pickard Court, Temple Newsam, Leeds, LS15 9AY.]

Tried to find an interesting UFO pic, but they were all either suspiciously fake or boring blobs of light. So here’s a picture of Winona Ryder instead – far more aesthetically pleasing, I’m sure you’ll agree. Notice the similarity to the cover of TC5, which is weird since it was inspired by something totally different. Must be a subconscious cultural icon.

‘Above Top Secret’ by Timothy Good, Grafton, 5.99

Like all good conspiracies, the aliens one comes in a variety of flavours to suit personal taste. At the saner end we have people like Timothy Good, whose book is a weighty, 590-page tome of evidence that purports to show the existence of some sort of cover-up. Unfortunately, it has to rely rather heavily on the circumstantial, with a lot of un-nameable “reliable sources” and some arguable interpretations of generally equivocal Armed Forces documents. These were obtained under the American Freedom of Information Act which allows citizens to see documents unless there are over-riding considerations of national security. This get-out clause was used by various governmental organizations in some cases to avoid releasing certain UFO-related documents, a fact pounced on by Mr. Good despite protestations that it was done only to protect the SOURCES of the data rather than to hide the fact aliens had landed.

Which makes little or no difference to the conspiracy theorist. Denials by the Air Force can be met with knowing nods and a chorus of, “Well, they WOULD say that, wouldn’t they” without in any way disturbing the ‘reality’ of the paranoia. Meanwhile, any documents allegedly leaked and all tales involving alien landings are eagerly swallowed, with a distressing tendency to gullibility.

To be fair, ‘Above Top Secret’ does recognise the weaknesses in the arguments and is generally a well balanced, written and researched piece of work. The same can not be said of all the literature on the subject, some of which, such as the example given at the start of the article, is so unbelievable the suggestion has been made it’s actually a deliberate attempt by the CIA/FBI/NSA/insert own choice spy network to confuse the issue and make the whole topic a laughing stock.

If the above sounds highly sceptical, it’s not intended to be. Over the past 50 years, there have been enough weird happenings to convince me that there are more things in heaven and earth, etc. Whether it’s aliens, time-travellers, or merely psychological delusions, SOMETHING odd is going on in our skies. The question all U.F.O. conspiracy theories face, and which none I have encountered have ever successfully answered, is “Why the conspiracy?”

Various alternatives have been put forward to explain the need for secrecy; fear of causing a panic, desire to be the first power to acquire any new technology, ~~. However, I believe it’s a mixture of apathy, ignorance and force of habit that’s to blame for any cover up – though governments undoubtedly do receive reports of UFO’s, I doubt if any sections will investigate them beyond their immediate remit. Thus, reports sent to the Air Force will be examined for defence implications, then discarded; the police will only be interested if property or human life is at risk, etc. The reports will then be filed away in some dusty cabinet. Governments also do not like saying “we don’t know”. Admitting that they haven’t got the faintest idea what’s going on in the skies is not going to inspire a great deal of confidence in the mind of the electorate. Governments tend to operate on a ‘need to know’ basis; not many people need to know about UFO’s, and it’s always safer to keep the masses in the dark, isn’t it?

My rule of thumb is that the weirder the theory, the stronger the evidence needed before I’ll believe it. As theories go, this one is pretty weird and I find it very difficult to believe that the American government, who couldn’t stop a model plane-maker from producing copies of their super-secret, non-existent Stealth bomber, are capable of keeping the lid on such a can of worms for over 40 years.