It seems to have snuck up on me without warning this year, in an “Oh, shit – it’s this weekend?” kind of way. I have therefore missed out on all the drama, which – and stop me if you’ve heard this before – largely revolves around the inclusion of Israel. As a result, a number of countries have withdrawn. We lost Iceland, Ireland, the Netherlands, Slovenia, and one of the event’s “Big 5” (countries which pay the most, so get to bypass the semi-finals) in Spain. Mind you, I was more upset by losing Slovenia, since I won’t get to use my annual meme. Or maybe I just did…

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I’m making a strenuous effort to avoid spoilers this year, or even discussions which might end up giving any indication of the winner. So, no browsing the Eurovision subreddit, or checking the betting odds, and I’ve avoided Googling the show too much, so that my news feed doesn’t include any hints as to the outcome. Whether I will be able to sustain this, until the point when we will be able to catch up on the show – either very late Saturday night Arizona time, or some point on Sunday – remains to be seen. I may have to go completely dark on social media once it starts, just to be sure. I know too many people who are fans of the show on some level to take the risk…

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This year, Eurovision snuck up on me. One moment, I was “It’s not until May?”, but my next thought was, “This weekend?” All I’d really heard about it was the obligatory political fuss: this year, spinning the Wheel O’ Controversy landed on “Gaza.” Some were complaining about Israel being allowed to take part, given the situation there, but the organizers weren’t having any of that. I would not be surprised to see some kind of demonstration during Saturday’s final though.

It’s also the fiftieth anniversary of probably the most iconic Eurovision moment: Abba winning with Waterloo. Given this year’s event is taking place in Sweden – hey, what are the odds? – nor would I be at all surprised to see Abba show up, despite strenuous denials from the group. But that’s all in the future at the time of writing. What follows is in alphabetical order, and based entirely on the music videos for each entry, as presented in the official Eurovision playlist.

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It’s that time of year again, when we engage with the kind of music which, for the other 364 days of the year, I would probably run screaming from. But Eurovision deserves special treatment, being the musical equivalent of an MST3K marathon. You go in, knowing to expect a slew of women belting out power ballads, Justin Bieber wannabes, cultural appropriation, and the batshit crazy entries that every country tends to throw up now and again.

This year, there were 37 entries, some of which won’t even make it to the grand final on Saturday night. But they still have deserve their moment in the sun. We sat through all their music videos, so you don’t have to. Here’s our thoughts, scrawled in the moment, and a back of the envelope grade as to whether we like them or not. Which may (and probably will) be utterly independent of musical quality.

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Bell Bank Park, Mesa
26th February, 2023

Our mission to bring you every a report on every dinosaur-related exhibit to pass through the state of Arizona continues, with a visit to Jurassic Quest, which bills itself as “The #1 Dinosaur Experience in North America!” There appear to be several set-ups touring the country simultaneously: I guess they’re the dino-equivalent of the Blue Man Group. General admission is $22, but that just gets you in the door; if you wanted your kids to experience all the other attractions, an “unlimited” admission is $36. However, the small print informed me that the maximum weight for the rides was 140 lbs, so we sadly bought general admission tickets, and I consoled myself with another doughnut.

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