If I’d known I would end up living in Arizona, I should have studied Spanish at school, rather than French and German. Where I sit is about 180 miles from the Mexican border, and it heavily influences the local culture, from food through music (as we can hear if we open our windows on a Saturday night) through to lucha libre. But despite the relative proximity, my sole experience of Mexico had been a couple of days in Rocky Point. That resort bears about as much similarity to the “real” country, as Taco Bell does to authentic Mexican cuisine. However, inspired by YouTube videos – and I freely admit, that might have been a mistake – we ventured deep into the interior of Mexico, to the town of Sayulita. For a visit, but perhaps with a view to permanent residency, if we liked it.

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T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas
1st December, 2023

Depeche Mode are certainly among the bands whose fandom has been among my most enduring. Digging through Google, I might have first seen them as long ago as 1986 at Wembley Arena. Certainly, it’s at least thirty years, since I definitely was there at Crystal Palace in 1993, when they were supported by the Sisters of Mercy. It’s no exaggeration to say we’ve got old together, an aspect driven home by the unfortunate death of keyboardist Andy Fletcher last year. That seems to have concentrated the minds of surviving members Martin Gore and Dave Gahan, subsequently releasing an album called Memento Mori, whose lead single was titled “Ghosts Again”: “A place to hide the tears that you cried / Everybody says goodbye”.

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Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum
23rd September 2022

It has been more than ten years since I originally saw Rammstein, an event which still ranks at or near the top of the greatest concerts I have experienced. Mind you, it has been more than two years since this event was originally scheduled to take place: it was supposed to happen in September 2020, before things went a bit pear-shaped. For both reasons, calling this “eagerly anticipated” is likely an understatement, and probably plays into why I didn’t feel like it quite lived up to expectations. Oh, it was still good: certainly worth the 750-mile round trip. But not quite the life-altering experience, redefining the entire concept of a live show, which was the 2012 event.

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Paramount Theater, Denver
March 14th, 2022

It took a very long time before I got to see OMD live. I think I became aware of them in the autumn of 1980, when their first hit, Enola Gay, hit Radio 1. I was certainly a fan: Architecture and Morality was on very heavy rotation on my bedroom record-player, though they drifted off my radar after Paul Humphreys left the group in 1989. Their re-formation in the mid-2000’s was well off my radar, but a few years ago, I bumped into a documentary about the group on YouTube, which re-ignited my interest. In January 2019 – a mere thirty-nine years after first hearing them – I finally got to see OMD when they played Tucson, Arizona in support of an art exhibition about, of all things, dazzle camouflage.

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4th February. I’m not sure what I’m even doing here. I’m writing things down as much as a coping mechanism, as well as a record of my emotions. It’s unexplored territory, because this will be the first funeral I’ve ever attended. There have been deaths, of course: aunts and grandparents, cousins and uncles, but for one reason or another, they were always distant enough to matter only in the abstract. I’m not even a person who feels particular sadness at celebrities passing. Death has been an almost entirely abstract concept, up until three hours ago, when my sister Pat called and told me my mother passed away today.

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