Rumour time again. Take your pick from the following crop of sequels, follow-ups and the odd, very occasional, original idea. Starting with the biggie, “Batman II”, rumoured to be costing, wait for it, $100 million, is being planned, pitting Keaton and Basinger against Nicholson (if he accepts the ‘write your own cheque offer’) plus the Penguin (Dustin Hoffman?? I kid you not…), Catwoman (Cher) & The Riddler (Robin Williams). Michael Jackson for the soundtrack this time?

Alien III, scripted by William Gibson, will have Arnold Schwarzenegger playing alongside Sigourney Weaver & Michael Biehn. It doesn’t take place on Earth or the aliens’ planet and may not be until 1992 however. Terminator II, also with big Arnie, is shelved indefinitely. Predator II doesn’t have Mr. Schwarzenegger in it and is set in New York – the preds taken on his brother instead.

Robocop II, written by comics man Frank Miller is being/has been filmed, with both Weller & Allen returning. In it, Murphy is ‘retired’ and his replacement goes wrong necessitating a swift come-back. Also on the comics front, we have ‘The Watchmen’ which is now being directed by Terry Gilliam, after a brief flirtation with James Cameron. The name of Mickey Rourke to play Rorschach has been heard.

On the ‘wise move’ front, Bruce Willis has realised that ‘Die Hard’ was the only good thing he’s done since ‘Moonlighting’ and has signed up for the sequel, which shows startling originality in being called, not ‘Die Hard 2’, but ‘Die Harder’. Renny Harlin, having parted company with ‘Aliens 3’, is down to direct. Set on a 747, the lead villain may well be Steven Berkoff.

THE 1989 TRASH CITY AWARDS.

Nominations, please, with descriptions where appropriate, for the following categories, ideally based on films you saw in 1989. Should I still have a video or two left from the competition, I’ll give them to the senders of the best suggestion.

• a) The ‘Bambi’ Award for the film which gave the censors LEAST trouble.
• b) ‘Manon des Sources’ Trophy for most blatant moment missed by the censors in a U/PG certificate film.
• c) ‘Ghostbusters’ Shield: the BBFC certificated movie with the smallest chance of getting turned into a Saturday morning cartoon series.
• d) ‘Man is the warmest place to hide’ Cup for best line used to advertise a movie…
• e) ‘The name in laughter from the hereafter’ Dagger …for the worst!
• f) ‘Son of the Return of the Sequel II’ Tombstone: most uninspired general cash-in.
• g) ‘Prison Ship Star Slammer’ Bust for the most totally gratuitous piece of nudity.
• h) The ‘Gone in 60 Seconds’ Furry Dice for the best car chase.

Those of you with us back in the prehistoric days of TC0 may remember me giving away some videos that I didn’t want, to encourage people to subscribe. Since then, I’ve acquired more of these, and our anniversary seems a good time to offload these on you, sorry, offer these up as superb prizes. Hence this contest, not to be taken TOO seriously…

THE RULES.

1. All entrants must be subscribers to Trash City, with enough money left in their sub to cover the cost of p&p – say one pound. If I’m giving these films away, I’m not paying the damn postage too!
2. Prizes can only be sent to UK subscribers, since it’d cost too much to send tapes to America. ‘Foreigners’ get a pat on the back instead, especially if they can understand all the obscure British cultural references.
3. 10 points for a correct answer, 1 – 10 for an interesting, apt or funny answer, regardless of truth, at the editor’s discretion.
4. Top score gets first choice, next gets second, etc. Contestants must supply an order of preference for the prizes, otherwise I choose which one you get…
5. The editor’s decision is final. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Fun, eh?

THE PRIZES.

Original tapes of the following films. No guarantee is made as to their quality, but most have been watched once. They are thus likely to be good tapes, if not good films. Naturally, all have BBFC certificates…

Demons * Demons 2 * Friday the 13th * Surf Nazis * Creepozoids * The Hunger * Satan’s Dog * Avenging Angel * Pray T.V. * The Marriage of Maria Braun

THE QUESTIONS.

Two sections, one factual, one to ‘use your imagination’ on.

Section 1) – Scattered throughout TC4 (look out for the “****”) you’ll find quotes taken from movies. All you have to do is identify the movies – none are especially, or even mildly, obscure.

Section 2) – The tiebreaker. Suggest appropriate film roles for the following non-actors:

• a) Wendy James
• b) Jim Bakker
• c) Mikhail Gorbachev
• d) Gabriella Sabatini
• e) David Gower
• f) Salman Rushdie
• g) Edwina Currie
• h) Kate Adie
• i) Bob Monkhouse
• j) Pamella Bordes

Dark Star 5 (36 A4, 1.50) – So there was SOMEONE who liked ‘Batman’! This issue is mainly devoted to said movie, and is a fair digest of all the previous hyper-hype – interviews with FX men, previous ‘Batman’ films, comics, etc. Interesting, even if like me, you thought Jack Nicholson was it’s only saving grace. Otherwise, broad ranging – Sherlock Holmes, cinema going in Greece, James Bond and a good few film reviews. Rob Dyer, Publishing House, 50 Wrotham Road, Gravesend, Kent DA11 0QF.

Death Bane 2 (22 pages A5, 1.00) – Some good ideas here; the foldout middle and (at least on my copy) a colour pic stuck to the front cover. Spoilt rather by the execution; the layout is VERY messy & unclear, and someone ought to buy the editor a dictionary! Just, 77 Crystal Palace Park Road, London, SE26 6UT.

Fantasynopsis 2 (80 A5, 1.70) – After a lengthy wait, another issue rises from the grave. An appropriate simile, for this ‘Zombie Special’ features pieces on ‘Dawn of the Dead’ and ‘Plague of the Zombies’, a history of undead cinema and a prize cross- word. Dear, but well-produced with good photographs and a ‘classy’ feel make this just about a coffee-table fanzine! Paul J. Brown, 1 Bascraft Way, Godmanchester, Cambs. PE18 8EG.

Gore Gazette 100 (4 pages tabloid, Special freebie, send an IRC?) – Now been going for nine years and it’s general couldn’t-give-a-toss attitude is getting endearing. This special freebie has a list of all horror(ish) films issued theatrically in New York this decade; 641 in all, ranging from the known to the totally obscure. And any ‘zine has class that reviews de Palma’s ‘Casualties of War’ with “If you ever got your kicks out of torturing some nerd in gym class, should be pleasantly nostalgic”! c/o Rick Sullivan, 469 Hazel St, Clifton, New Jersey, NJ 07011 U.S.A.

Samhain: An index to Issues 1-17 (39 pages A4, 1.00 including p&p) – One of those “now, why didn’t I think of that?” ideas, essential for anyone who reads Samhain. It lists all the films, books, soundtracks, authors and people that have been written about in Britain’s premier ‘zine, and will save endless hours trying to track down that bit on Jess Franco. Only minor complaint – the ‘authors’ section sends you to ‘books’ rather than to the piece direct, which’d have been as easy. Otherwise, invaluable. Glyn Williams, 219 Ladybank Road, Mickleover, Derby, DE3 5RR.

Strange Adventures 10 (12 A4, 50p) – From the Isle of Wight we have this varied selection of reviews – videos, films, comics & books are all covered, concentrating on mainstream product with a fantasy content. A bit too ‘normal’ for me perhaps, though I enjoyed Tony Lee’s list of “Horrible Things”, ranging from grouting tiles to Russell Grant! Stephen & Tony Lee, 13 Hazely Combe, Arreton, Isle of Wight, PO30 3AJ.

Well, the BBC did it again. The Saturday before Halloween, they showed David Cronenberg’s ‘The Dead Zone’ and the Tommy Lee Wallace directed ‘Halloween III: Season of the Witch’ (oddly, both produced by Debra Hill). In a startling display of idiosyncracy, they censored the former, removing the scene where the murderer commits suicide, probably leaving those who hadn’t seen it before wondering what the hell happened. Then, two hours later, “Halloween III” was shown in full, including a man having his head pulled clean, or rather, pulled messily, off. Not bad, given it’s cut on video. I can just about bear TV censorship, as long as it’s consistent – this semi-random approach is getting more and more annoying.

Advertisement time. Don’t know whether other regions have it, but down in London, we’ve been getting an advert for Cadbury’s Crunchies. I assume it’s supposed to be a parody of a 50’s musical – it consists of little more than a big-bosomed bimbo waving her cleavage at the camera while singing lines like “I’d rather have a Crunchie, than play a round with Sam”. How this sexual innuendo got past the IBA and what it’s all got to do with honeycomb choc-bars remains a mystery to me, but I can foresee trouble. If the looney feminist lobby can claim on ‘Right to Reply’ that an advert for the Peugeot 209 (I think it was) was a rape fantasy, they’ll be having an apoplectic fit about this one.

Assuming this gets out before Chrissie-mas, you might care to keep an eye out for the following. “Hazard of Hearts” (31st, BBC1, 2015) – it’ll be interesting to see the result when an irresistible force, in the shape of Helena Bonham-Carter, probably the best young actress in Britain today, meets the immovable, leaden prose of Barbara Cartland. “The Prince and the Pauper” (25th, BBC2, 1100), if only ‘cos Sybil Danning’s in it (I think!) and Jan Svankmajer’s “Alice” (2nd, Ch4, 0050); see TC3 for it. Overall the BBC wins, on the film front anyway: “Legend”, “Krull”, “My Fair Lady” (in English!), “The Name of the Rose” & “Clockwise” will do nicely; all I’ll be slapping on tape from ITV is “Escape From New York”.

Saw an interesting piece about Wendy James on ‘Hard News’. She was whining about the tabloid press telling lies and making up stories saying how she called Kylie Minogue ‘that Aussie bimbo’. “Bimbo is such a sexist term” said Miss James, as she sprawled on… Well, where do YOU think would be the most appropriate place to hold an interview, for a girl supposedly trying desperately to lose her bimbo image? A king-size bed? Right first time…

“After half an hour we saw a hooker on the street of a small town. In the DDR there are no prostitutes, peepshows or porn mags, but we knew what she was from Western TV programmes that we’d seen.”

—— East German refugee describing his first impressions of the West.

“Assassin” – Shaun Hutson, Star, 3.50

Herschell Gordon Lewis once said that his films were the first ones where everyone died with their eyes open. Similarly, Shaun Hutson’s latest novel is the first I’ve read where everyone dies with their head in little pieces. Bloody gobbets of brain tissue and fragments of skull litter every second page like confetti, courtesy of a large variety of very offensive weapons.

It’s less of a ‘horror’ story than previous efforts, being more a gangland thriller with the only supernatural elements being four zombie gangsters out for revenge on the people who killed them. The rest of the story includes a Manson-style family of psychos, bent coppers, informers, a hit-man who listens to heavy metal on his Walkman while working and a LOT of ammunition. There’s a love story in there too, though don’t expect to see Mr. Hutson getting signed up by Mills & Boon.

Make no mistake, the man can write. While any fool with a camera, some fake blood and a few cow intestines can make a movie capable of grossing-out the viewer, to do something similar with letters on a page is proof of talent, and there are at least two scenes in the book, the execution of a ‘traitor’ by a gang boss and a ritual murder, after which I had to stop reading for a moment. Oddly, the scene the author was proudest of (involving a prostitute and a zombie – I won’t go into details), left me totally unfazed.

Despite, or perhaps slightly because of this, it’s a good read – I went through the 300-odd pages in two sittings. The pace is fast, you’re never sure exactly what’s going to happen next (though the most violent and messy alternative is usually a safe bet) and the characters are interestingly flawed. If perhaps occasionally they have ‘CANNON FODDER’ tattooed too conspicuously on their foreheads, this is only to be expected in a book where the mortality rate of the characters is close to 100%. Overall, nasty – very nasty – yet still recommended for those with strong stomachs.

No room for a real letter column this time, yet I couldn’t resist putting in the following extract from a reader – I think I’ll refrain from printing her name…

“You missed the obvious, didn’t you, tho’ it’s probably due to you being male – to be polite, it’s plastic, runs on batteries and often masquerades as a ‘neck massager’ in the Kaleidoscope catalogue…”

Only things that brings to mind are rechargeable batteries…

**** 10. “We just cut up our girl-friend with a chainsaw. Does that sound ‘fine’?”