The Barbarian Women (Al Bradley) – ‘Compared with the Barbarian Women of the Middle Ages, the Amazons of ancient Greece were as horrific as the vestal virgins!! The blood flows in torrents as the result of savagery beyond belief. Orgies of rape & torture, their cruelty has no boundaries. These barbarous and beautiful women will both excite the animal in you and chill your blood to freezing!!’ This blurb is wrong in every important aspect and several unimportant ones. Not even as stupidly bad as the sequel, this is a ‘Magnificent 7’ rip-off, not quite rescued by some well staged fight scenes. Something of a disappointment, 4/10

Blue Sunshine (Jeff Lieberman) – A batch of bad acid at Stamford University has unfortunate side-effects ten years later – the users’ hair falls out and they start killing people. It’s impossible to take bald killers seriously – otherwise, it’s not a bad movie which conceals it’s low budget well. One of the better movies you can buy for 3.99. 6/10

Casualties of War (Brian de Palma) – Michael J. Fox in more American angst about Vietnam, as a soldier disgusted by the behaviour of his comrades who kidnap, rape and kill a Vietnamese girl. Well-made no doubt, with Sean Penn especially good as the leader of the platoon, but the whole film revels in nastiness; characters are introduced solely to get blown up, you get too many over-long shots of corpses and the rape scene is also stretched beyond reason. Quality 7, attitude, 3/10.

Cat Chaser (Abel Ferrara) – Ferrara’s career drifts steadily towards the main- stream; for all it’s many faults, “Driller Killer” was at least original. This is a standard thriller about a millionaire, his bimbo (Kelly McGillis in a variety of skimpy costumes) and her lover (Peter Weller); the last two plot to relieve the former of his money (an irrelevant sub-plot about Central America can be ignored). Takes a long while to get going; when it does, Ferrara’s eye for impressive violence just about salvages it. 6/10.

Deathstalker (John Watson) – Bimbos. Muscle-bound lunks. Swords. Chains. Evil Mud- wrestling. sorceror. Hell, I’m sure there was more to the film than that – damned if I can remember though. Nice, undemanding sword and sorcery fare. 6/10? Evilspeak (Eric Weston) – Terminally dumb “Carrie” rip-off; nerdish military cadet picked upon by all and sundry uses his computer to summon up the ghost of a Satanist ( not bad going for an Apple II, hehehe!) for the standard revenge purposes. The cuts to get it off the banned list means it loses all coherency at the end, it takes far too long to get going and the whole thing’s just stupid & amateurish. 3/10

The Exterminator (James Glickenhaus) – After his friend is attacked and almost killed, John Eastland (Robert Ginty) gets vigilante and becomes The Exterminator, tracking and killing those responsible. From then on, he’s an army exterminating ( for want of a better word) the bad guys who get in his way. His catchline is “If you’re lying, I’ll be back” and the police plus the CIA are out to put a stop to his antics. This gritty and often violent action/thriller also contains one of the most sickening decapitations ever, not that you see it in the BBFC version, naturally. 6/10. (MM).

Flesh Gordon (Michael Benvenista) – The makers of a porn pic got more budget than expected, so they threw in a few effects and silly jokes to get an amusing little satire on Flash. Now shorn of it’s sex scenes, it has to rely on the humour to survive, and just about does so, even if the target subject matter is almost too stupid to parody. The stop-motion animation is surprisingly decent and the acting, if not ‘good’, is no worse than the original! 6/10.

Hellgate (William Levey) – Starts off well, piling cliche on cliche in a parody of the teenagers-in-a-mountain-cabin- telling-ghost-stories genre; phantom bimbo hitch-hikers, ghost towns, magic &l84crystals, crummy effects, the works. Unfortunately, half-way through, you suddenly realise that it’s NOT a parody, and that the makers are, in fact, serious. From then on, it ceases to be of any interest at all. 3/10. Jesus of Montreal (Denys Arcand) – This is a damn good film. Having expected something “Last Temptation”-ish (dull!), I was shocked how brilliant it was. Tho’ there is a religious element (it’s about an actor trying to put on a passion play who finds his life paralleling Christ), it’s not overbearing and is convincing, un-preachy and done with humour. The rest of the film (most of it) aims at a range of targets including lawyers, porn films and method acting, hitting them unerringly with superb wit. Any film that can describe the IQ of the average beer drinker as “10 points less and they’d be a geranium” has got to be seen! 9/10.

Last Exit to Brooklyn (Uli Edel) – Set in 50’s Brooklyn, this is grim soap-opera, with a cast of hookers, gays, thugs, drug addicts and union officials. Edel’s original cut was considered “too violent” by the production company (who gave us “Rambo”, so they’re not bleeding-hearts) and even in the trimmed down version, life seems brutal, with survival of the fittest being the rule – there are some vicious moments, besides which even Jennifer Jason Leigh ‘taking on’ the entire clientele of a bar, pale. Well-acted and compelling, though not an enjoyable picture. 8/10.

The Lift (Dick Maas) – Psychopathic elevators may sound a silly idea – after all, it’s difficult for them to stalk lingerie clad teenagers – yet this manages to be a neat and stylish movie. Lightning strikes an office block, changing the experimental software in it’s lift and turning it into a killer. The scenes with the machinery in killer mode are great and have a real ‘frisson’ to them – if the humans, such as the lift engineer investigating the deaths, have less character it can be put down to the atrocious dubbing, quite the worst I’ve seen in a while. 7/10

A Man In Love (Diane Kurys) – Ok, so what if the only reason I rented this was ‘cos Greta Scacchi’s in it? Menage a trois between a weird actor (Peter Coyote), his weird wife (Jamie Lee Curtis) and a weird actress (Scacchi). Not half weird enough – all the interesting bits, such as Coyote screaming at Greta’s belly-button, take place in the film they’re shooting and Miss Scacchi has a nasty tendency to resemble Kylie Minogue at times, though it must be said she exhibits severe chameleon tendencies and does a convincing NK impression too. 4/10.

Monster (Barbara Peeters) – Genetically frigged salmon escape, rapidly evolve into ‘things’ and attack a fishing community. Gets a point for having the first rape scene ever to make me laugh; the sight of human/salmon hybrids (strongly resembling “The Creature from the Black Lagoon”) mauling bimbos in bikinis was just too silly for words. Never a dull moment, though, thanks to Roger Corman beefing it up by adding attack scenes whenever he felt it was getting dull. Doug McLure is one of the many cardboard characters on show, Rob Bottin did the creatures and it’s messily entertainingly, if totally undemanding intellectually. 6/10.

Not of This Earth (Jim Wynorski) – Traci Lords, who gained notoriety in the States by becoming a porn queen at the age of 16, tries her hand at straight acting in this Roger Corman remake of a 1956 film as the nurse to a vampire from outer space, after Earth’s blood to save his race. Directed with just the right tongue-in-cheek style, Arthur Roberts is great as the alien and Traci Lords keeps her end up well[!], even if the hero is wafer-thin and the title sequence is the most irrelevant I’ve ever seen; ignore it TOTALLY! 7/10.

Psych Out (Richard Rush) – Groovy, man! Jack Nicholson playing bass guitar and Susan Strasberg as a deaf girl looking for her brother, a drugged out hippy character called Steve Davis (any resemblance…), in the San Francisco of 1968. Lots of dippy slang like “It’s all one big plastic hassle”, HIDEOUSLY dated as you’d expect – great fun nonetheless, thanks to a sense of humour and it even made me feel nostalgic for the 60’s which isn’t bad since I was aged three when they ended! 8/10.

Stuck on You (Herz & Weill) – Probably about the closest Troma will get to making a romantic comedy, though the setting of a couple taking a palimony case to court is a thin guise for a quick romp through history according to Troma, plus a few jokes about chickens – having NINE scriptwriters clearly wasn’t enough, as nearly every joke goes on for twice as long as is funny. In the end, there’s about enough childish humour to justify watching it once. 5/10.

The Trip (Roger Corman) – “In the wrong hands, a tremendous advertisement for LSD” says James Furman, head of the BBFC. Could have fooled me; this was a disappointment since I thought there was more to an acid trip than getting stuck in a kaleidoscope. Few things are duller than watching someone else’s mind expand; after 25 minutes of watching Peter Fonda’s mind, I cut my losses and had an early night. 2/10.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Philip Kaufmann) – The first ninety minutes are sorta fun; some inane dialogue (“Other womens’ bodies will be our playthings”) and a lot of designer Czech sex. Then, after some striking editing of documentary film of the Russian invasion and footage of the characters, it just dies. The loose ends are all tied up, but it goes ON and ON and ON for 153 minutes. The dramatic highlight of the second half is a dog being put down. First half 6/10, second 2/10.

The Witch (James Robinson) – 1784: a possessed witch is crucified and drowned in a lake but promises revenge. We find this out half way through the film. In the first few minutes she does just that, killing two jokers, one by decapitation (she then cooks the head in a microwave, causing it to explode) and another is cut in half while trying to get out a window. Into this friendly enviroment move a family all set for a new life; needless to say they meet with the wraith of the witch, and by the climax, most of the cast have been offed in the usual variety of ways. The movie offers nothing new, but is worth a look. Also known as ‘Superstition’. 6/10. (MM)

New	Rediscovered
Lair of the White Worm (above) Rabid Grannies Edge of Sanity Elvira, Mistress of the Dark Ghosts of the Civil Dead Dangerous Liaisons Parents The Cook, the Thief… Bad Taste Crazy Love	Videodrome Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill Flesh For Frankenstein The Fourth Man Supervixens Salome’s Last Dance The Devils The Lift Shogun Assassin A Clockwork Orange

Honorary mentions: Earth Girls Are Easy, Monkey Shines, Life on the Edge, Dead Heat, Die Hard, Virgin, Kamikaze, Nightmare on Elm St 4, They Live, Licensed to Kill, Legend of the Holy Drinker, Dr. Alien, Getting It Right, Heathers, I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, Alice, Santa Sangre, Teenage Doll, The American Way & LA Bounty.

Firstly thanks to the people who sent me Xmas cards – it won t surprise you to learn that it was TC readers who were responsible both for the ‘Pirelli Advent calendar’ and the card featuring Santa whipping his reindeer with Rudolf begging for more.

I asked for your opinions on whether going pro-printed was a good thing or no. and I got them – not that there was a unanimous viewpoint

• Martin Murray. Waterford – ‘The reproduction is definitely improved’
• Richard Owen, Skewen – ‘I didn’t notice any difference’
• Glyn Williams. Mickleover – The printing is nice and crisp’
• Paul J. Brown, Huntingdon – ‘The printing is much better and worth every penny’
• Simon Owen. Newcastle – ‘There is only a slight improvement in quality but… it’s probably a good idea… if only for the sake of your blood pressure’.

Which is about the best summing up of the actual situation. Meanwhile. other readers have taken great delight in making me mad with envy.

• Stuart Adamson. Keefe – ‘One of my friends here has met Nastassja Kinski… He met her at a flash party a few years ago when he was doing Tarot readings and such professionally in London. Feel free to grind your teeth and turn green – I know I did!’
• Steve Moss. Liverpool – ‘…the same Jon and another mate from Norfolk both had very small parts as soldiers in ‘Revolution’ and… met herself(‘ She apparently came over to a group of ‘soldiers’ and said something like 1 feel really sorry for you standing out here in the cold’ before disappearing back into the warmth of her caravan!’
• Daniel Cox, Greenford – 1 had her once, but I don’t remember the circumstances – I can’t rule out the possibility that it may have been a dream… ‘

I have dreams like that too. He continues with a nastier claim to notoriety

DC – ‘I once met Dennis Nielsen at a party – of course that was before someone called in a plumber ‘

All of which makes anything I might say involving Linnea Quigley pale into insignificance. Mr Adamson has another unique quality. that of being the only TC subscriber know of who plays in a band named after a technique used for detecting sexual abuse of children

SA – ‘The band I play in, R.A.D (Reflex Anal Dilation), are (un)doubtedly the fastest, sickest band on Earth. Well, actually. I’m not so sure that we are, but we enjoy ourselves anyway. Basically we play songs of a somewhat risque nature, badly, though we have improved beyond all recognition since our inception in ’87… Please give us a plug, say how marvellous we are and stuff like that’

Whaddya think this is. ‘Wogan’? Moving on through a random selection of topics raised from previous TCs:

SO – ‘I beat the record for the fewest people in a cinema on Friday afternoon when myself and another bloke watched ‘Mystic Pizza’ at Newcastle Metro Centre”

Phil Taylor, Birmingham – “Have you come across… ‘The Incredibly Strange Fanzine’?.. {have not been able to obtain a reply to my letter (l have written twice). I learned from my bank that it costs 5 to cancel a cheque. therefore | will have to stand the loss if | do not receive the aforesaid “zine”

GW – “I recently look a long while devising a tortuous tale about a man who tues reef knots who discovers a strange ridge across the top of his leg, whereupon his doctor instructs a medical photographer to photograph and enlarge a picture of the peculiar mark. The doctor’s instructions, as you’ve no doubt guessed. were to blow up the ‘Ridge on the Reefer’s Thigh’. I wouldn’t dare, however, inflict this upon you.”

And a good job too The second piece is interesting, as it’s not the only letter I’ve had about that zine – if anyone has sent for it or any other ‘zine, and not received anything. do let me know. We mightn’t be able to help. bul it’ll save other people from making the same mistakes.

What follows ts an unedited chunk of letter, in which Alun Fairburn tries to dig himself out of the hole I was partly responsible for putting him in a couple of issues back

Alun Fairburn. Ammanford – *I loathe the current state of censorship in this country (the mere fact that the BBFC call themselves the Board of Film Classification now, makes my blood boil) and cannot agree with any forms of censorship in film or other media (fanzines, etc). The point that ft tried to get across is that the British Govt’s methods cannot work and will never work. Censorship just cannot work in a democracy. They should leave things bet!!! Nevertheless, | am of the opinion that if the govt. wants to intervene, then at least do so in the most deserving case(s). the torture video(s) that you referred to some time ago for example. I think there are a great majority of people all around the UK who can accept gore for what it is, bul just how many can advocate a torture video? There are some extremes that I couldn’t care less about, but the problem is that tge current system doesn’t stop there. The world is progressing, gore and violent horror gains wider acceptance, but the system in this country seems to stand siill.

Jim’ll Fix It section:

Andy Waller, Bromsgrove – “t hope that I’ve earned some kind of mention in the letter column…”

Yep, think I can just about manage that. However. Mr. Waller made the mistake of writing TWO letters to me, one full of useful. interesting thoughts about TC, the other commenting on “Passion Flower Hotel”. I will now embarrass him by quoting from the latter :

AW – °The words I could use to describe it are perhaps innocently exploitative’ Yeah, the naivete and innocence of the young aspiring actresses. their Ideas and the exploitative nature of the movie were quite unbelievable… Oh, such a beautifully naive perception of sex!

You mean it’s not like that? A plea for help & info now:

Bethany Rhys-Morgan, Manchester – “Do you know anyone that has any information on George Eastman? I’m trying to find out a complete filmography and am especially interested in an English language version of “Erotic Nights of the Living Dead’ & any stills of the said person”

And you thought Roland Rivron was obscurist! For those who don’t know, Georgie is probably best known for playing the title role in “Anthropophagous, the Beast’, a messy film even by Italian standards. Any info should be sent to me and I’ll pass if on. Let me finish with a P.S. that was both amusing and worrying.

Christopher Samms, Rickmansworth – “Please keep up the good work, | don’t know anybody else without any morals!”

Given the publicity accorded to both the film of Anthony Burgess’ and the novel itself, it is not surprising that the Royal Shakespeare Company’s “official version” broke box-office records, even before the official opening. Starring Phil Daniels of “Quadrophenia” fame, with music by Bono and The Edge from U2 and choreograpghy by Arlene Phillips, it was clearly going to be an interesting experience, especially for someone like myself with little experience of live theatre, though I am familiar with both the book and Kubrick’s well-known/notorious movie.

There were some marked differences between the play, the book and the film. In the book, Alex rapes a pair of ten-year old girls; this was too much to take (even for the director of ‘Lolita’!) and was toned down to consenting sex with a pair of teenagers. The play misses it out altogether, with little detriment to storyline or atmosphere. On the other hand, the stage show reinstates a contrasting passage with Alex being raped while in jail and killing his attacker, which Kubrick excised.

The most severe change is at the end. Burgess’ American publishers disiked the ending, which has Alex contemplating marriage & settling down, so they cut it out, leaving the readers with the impression that Alex at the end was just the same as Alex at the beginning. This was the version Kubrick saw and filmed, changing the entire tone of the film. The RSC included the epilogue, restoring Burgess’ original meaning. Despite the wide gulf between the two, I regard both endings as justifiable and appropriate, and don’t feel that one is significantly better than the other.

To the production itself. The theatre is obviously a different medium from the film where the spectator is restricted to one viewpoint and everything has to be ‘larger than life’ to be comprehensible to the plebs in the cheap seats. The core of the first half is the violence; if perhaps it was occasionally like watching a disturbance at the away end of a football ground, this was more than made for by the impact when the timing of the action, the sound and the reaction all meshed perfectly. Then, it was astonishingly easy to suspend the disbelief, since you knew there were no clever camera angles or latex models – your own eyes gave you all the ‘evidence’ you needed.

The sets were sparse, but effective. The Korova Milk Bar, one of the key locations, had little more than a giant milk bottle suspended over the stage, while the back- drop, consisting of huge slabs of ‘metal’ rivetted together, was just as believable as F. Alexander’s house, the prison or a piece of waste-ground. The costumes were impressive, ranging from the bowler hats and waist-coats of Nadsat fashion to the police uniforms.

The only annoying thing about the production (save the hideous amount of coughing which went on, though apparently it was LESS than average!) was the music, which added nothing at all, and was sometimes a pain in the neck. This included an almost unrecognisable version of Heane 17’s “We Don’t Need This Fascist Groove Thang” (who took their name from a group in the novel) and on the whole, I’d have been far happier with just the odd snatch of Ludwig’s Ninth.

A performance like this stands or falls on the actors, however, and Phil Daniels delivers the goods. It might have been more effective to have had a younger actor ( Alex’s age ranges from 15 to 18 during the play, Phil Daniels is nowhere near this range) since it is a play about youth and a lot of the tension derives from this, but Daniels is now so accomplished at playing ‘villains’ that it’s second nature to him, much as Anthony Perkins is a plausible psychopath. He delivers the Nadsat slang, a mix of Russian & English (which sounds more plausible now than when the book was written) with fluency and verve, bringing it to life.

The other actors are overshadowed by him, yet perform competently. The only exceptions are Russell Enoch as F. Alexander, who overacts badly and Nathalie Roles, whose performance as the little old lady murdered by Alex could have come straight out of a Herschell Gordon Lewis film. That whole scene, complete with stuffed cats flying about the stage propelled by Alex’s boot (and pre-recorded meowing as well), was about the only one where the play was notably deficient.

Overall, it’s difficult to find fault with the play, but whenever I think of a scene it’s still seems to be the film that springs most readily to mind.

Dark Star 6 (32 A4, 1.50) – Vested interest time. It’d be difficult for me to give a bad review to anything where the editorial describes TC as the only fanzine worth reading, but fortunately I don’t need to as it’s pretty good! Bad Taste, comics, films, books and a letter from your humble editor. Publishing House, 50 Wrotsham Road, GRAVESEND, Kent, Da11 0QF.

Headcheese & Chainsaws 3 (24 A5, 60p) – Quick mention time. A few layout problems are still apparent yet the style is light-hearted and readable, even when discussing cheery films like The Texas Chainsaw Masssace and Absurd. Also comics, books and an 80’s review. Rob Bewith, 33 Ernwill Avenue, Castletown, Sunderland, SR5 3EB.

Samhain 20 (32 A4, 1.55) – The demise of ‘Shock Xpress’ ends the controversy about what is Britain’s leading horror fanzine. THE place for reviews, news and interviews of anything from mainstream to the fringe. Why am I mentioning it, since I expect nearly all of you read it already? Well, they plug us, so it’s the least I can do! 19 Elm Grove Road, Topsham, EXETER, EX3 0EQ.

Scareaphanalia 85 (8 A5-ish, $1) – The Yanks seem to go for more frequent, small ‘zines; see also “Gore Gazette”, This contains the editor’s annual awards and an interesting table of box-office figures for ’89 genre films, #86, just in, has the first ‘Night Breed’ review I’ve read. Well written, even if you are left in need of another helping. Michael Gingold, 55 Nordica Drive, Croton-on-Hudson, N.Y 10520,USA.

Sheer Filth 7 (24 A5, 75p) – Bonus point as editor Dave Flint remembered me at this year’s Black Sunday from 89’s! The sleaziest ‘zine out, not in quality but subjects; SF8, which I haven’t seen, apparently has a rather less coy review of ‘Racconti Sensuale’ than ours… SF7 has Betty Page and lots of people I don’t know, but who’re undoubtedly dodgy. Dave Flint, 39 Holly St, Offerton, Stockport, SK1 4DP.

The Small Hours 1 (32 A4, 90p) – A strange resemblance to TC0, with articles on “Hellbound”, “Driller Killer” & censorship; fortunately, it’s better produced, with the artwork being impressive and containing a variety of fantasy/horror material. The editor runs a ‘zine distribution service (send an SAE for details), which could save you the hassle and risk of sending off to unknown editors. Paul A. Broome, Sycamore Cottage, Half Moon Lane, Kirkthorpe, Wakefield, WF1 5SY.

Strange Adventures 12 & 13 (12 A4, 95p) – There’s a steady improvement over the issues I’ve seen, which get sharper and lose the slight ‘written by committee’ feel earlier issues had. Reviews a wide range of films – any ‘zine that can put ‘Mac & Me’ between ‘The Hitcher’ & ‘Bloodsport’ (while keeping a straight face) has SOME style! Tony Lee, 13 Hazely Combe, Arreton, Newport, Isle of Wight, PO30 3AJ.