Best excuse of 1990:

Daniel Cox – “I have been on location in Cuba as technical advisor for the snuff movie ‘Kinkarver’ or as it is known by its UK release title ‘The Kinski Lookalike Murders’ and please do not suspect me of exaggeration. [ Who, me? I did meet Dennis Neilsen at a party, prior to his arrest of course…(expect he had other things on his mind at that time, such as “did I turn the oven offr…the party did take place and is not a figment of my imagination”.

Neilsen used to work for the Manpower Services Commission in Denmark St, just opposite the old Forbidden Planet shop – probably all those nasty books warped his mind. Speaking of warped minds, here’s

Andy Waller – “TC appears to be cleaning up it’s act. judging by the latest edition -it’s becoming far too clean, decent and bloody responsible! It’s rapidly losing it’s crude unrefined personality, it’s borderline origins – TC come home! Screw discretion, commercialism, honour and decency – bring on the sleaze!”

Certainly a problem I’m aware of -the only difficulty is that my life lately has been too clean. decent and bloody responsible! TC reflects this and is thus distressingly sleaze-free – all suggestions and offers of 14-year old nymphomaniacs, large amounts of money and heaps of pharmaceuticals would be welcome.

Which is an easy link to Handy Household Hints. “You have to be careful not to make ergot (lysergic acid) as well as psilocybe”, warns Claire Blarney. That would be a disaster, wouldn’t it? David Thomson asks “Could you please tell me where to avoid getting hold of any psilocybe mycelium? Just to be sure.” – so far, I’ve luckily avoided that pitfall myself. Poor Richard Owen has a problem in the offing – “A friend is very grateful to you for HHH n. He recently spent a lot of time researching at the library in Swansea University but to no avail – unfortunately, I’m the one who’ll have to look after him”.

Mark Stevens – “Please put me on the letters page, I’ve seen Robert de Niro’s left testicle”.

No bother at all, Mark. Next.

Paul Mallinson – “Boo! No mention in the letters page!…Maybe next time. Jim?!”.

Maybe, maybe not. Oh, alright then – go ahead!

EM – “On the whole, I enjoyed the Splatterfest – not because of the films (although ‘Rabid Grannies’ was marvellous), mainly because of the atmosphere and getting the chance to meet all the people I’ve been writing to… Well said on ‘The Comic’…Sure, it was well out of place at the event but all the shouting did was to deny us the chance of seeing their other film on offer which could have been much better”. Every festival has it’s dick-heads – Splatterfest just had more than most it seems.

The Sybil Denning piece was enjoyed/appreciated, tho’ maybe those that didn’t just kept quiet rather than risk the wrath of SD. who naturally pops round to collect her copy in person… Several people spotted that ‘Your Sister is a Werewolf’ is an alternate title for ‘The Howling II’ and Tony Lee adds “you forgot her guest appearance as a prison bitch, beating up Heather Thomas in TV’s ‘The Fall Guy! (No I’m not kidding)”. Not forgot, Tony just haven’t seen – I’m sure it’s pretty unforgettable!

Simon Wood – “TC5 was jolly interesting, with my only gripe being the fact that you got my name wrong in the letters page. Simon Owen? Who he?” [Guilty. m’lud – probably something to do with him residing at Owen Court. I expect.] Tell Stuart Adamson of R.A.D. (letters, TC5) there is another band who would dispute the ‘fastest band on earth’ tag. The Anal C*nts started out by putting out a single (7″) which contains 88 songs and their latest 7″ single has a total of over 5.000 (!!!!) songs on it!!!”.

More one-upmanship comes from Paul Higson –

“I sat alone in a cinema studio for the last day of a two week run of ‘Videodrome’. The usherette didn’t bother coming down with the tray, she just called out ‘Do you want any ices?” from the door”.

The only way we can take this further is to find someone working at a cinema who knows of a showing when no-one turned up!

Several readers kindly told me about Pop Will Eat Itself and their unofficial World Cup Single. ‘Touched by the Hand of Cicciolina’. I was very disappointed they wimped out and failed to include Ms. Staller when they were on ‘Top of the Pops’ as they claimed they wanted – even the video had a fake Cicciolina and about two stills of her. Far better to watch The Late Show’, which had a piece on an Italian art exhibition where one of the exhibits was a double life-size sculpture of her and the artist making love, surrounded by photos of them. This is Art, so it was alright to show the sort of things the BBFC would frown on… Glyn Williams speculates on the possibilities:

“One can only hope that Maggie. by the next election, is in such desperate straits that she will feel it is necessary to stand on the back of a lorry lifting her skirt and opening her blouse to gain attention”.

Not sure ‘hope’ is the word I’d use, Glyn – it will be interesting to see if Glenda Jackson. a lady not averse to removing her clothes for Ken Russell. tries something similar. When I write 80% of a paragraph, I know it’s time to stop! All letters are read avidly and you will get a reply, though given the time spent watching the World Cup. it might take a while to clear the backlog…

I’m writing this on Christopher Lee’s 68th birthday, May 27th, and I’m trying to find words to sum up the career of a man who has appeared in more films than almost any other actor. Not all of these have been good perhaps, but even in the dullest of these (who mentioned ‘Night of the Big Heat’?) he is always worth watching. He’s a highly versatile actor, capable of playing everything from the Mummy to Sherlock Holmes, via Shakespeare – ‘Hamlet’ (1948) won an Oscar, and was his first film with Peter Cushing.

He is undoubtedly best known for his performances as Dracula, his height (6 ft. 4″) lending him an air of authority few, if any, other actors have been able to bring to the role. In addition to the Hammer versions, beginning with ‘Dracula’ (1958) and generally going downhill in quality until the abysmal ‘Dracula AD 1972’, he also appeared in other vampire films, though these were usually feeble spoofs. He was ‘misled’ into appearing in ‘El Conde Dracula’ by promises it would be the definitive telling of Stoker’s tale – since it was directed by Jess Franco, it will not surprise readers to learn this is not how it turned out…

Outside the horror genre, his appearances have been almost as numerous, especially in more recent years. He was Scaramanga in ‘The Man With the Golden Gun’, and is also well known for his appearances in ‘The Three Musketeers’ and it’s two sequels. At other times, he has played Dr Jekyll, Rasputin & Fu Manchu, but for me his most memorable role was as Lord Summerisle in ‘The Wicker Man’ (1973), which in my opinion is the best non-Hammer British horror film ever made.

In recent years his appearances have become slightly less numerous, leaving him free to pursue his other interests – he is a keen golfer, possessing a low handicap, and is also very fond of cricket. However, he can shortly be seen in ‘Gremlins II’, which means the man will be in the (unique?) position of having starred in films with three of your editor’s idols; Nastassja Kinski (‘To the Devil a Daughter’), Sybil Danning (‘The Howling II’) and now Phoebe Cates.

His latest film, as yet unreleased here, is called ‘The Rainbow Thief’, with Michael Caine. During the filming, it was reported that Lee was called to do a scene where he has a heart attack while bonking some beauty. Lee wanted it changed, in deference to his age, and settled for being tickled into a seizure by eight topless bimbos! Some people have all the luck…

Filmography

So you thought Sybil Danning was busy? I lost count of the following list when it went into three figures; all corrections, additions and amendments would be gratefully received, though note that only commonly encountered alternative titles are included:

• 1947 – Corridor of Mirrors
• 1948 – Hamlet
• 1949 – They Were Not Divided
• 1950 – Prelude of Fame
• 1951 – Valley of the Eagles
• 1952 – The Crimson Pirate
• 1953 – Moulin Rouge
• 1954 – Dark Avenger a.k.a. The Warriors
• 1955 – Private’s Progress
• 1956 – Alias John Preston
  Moby Dick
  Ill Met by Moonlight a.k.a. Night Ambush
  The Battle of the River Plate a.k.a. Pursuit of the Graf Spee
• 1957 – The Traitor
  The Curse of Frankenstein
  Corridors of Blood a.k.a. Doctor from Seven Dials
• 1958 – Dracula a.k.a. Horror of Dracula
• 1959 – A Tale of Two Cities
  The Man Who Could Cheat Death
  The Mummy
  Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll
• 1960 – Beat Girl
  City of the Dead
  Taste of Fear a.k.a. Scream of Fear
• 1961 – Hercules in the Haunted Kingdom a.k.a. Hercules in the Centre of the Earth
• 1962 – Hands of Orlac a.k.a. Hands of a Strangler
  The Terror Tongs a.k.a. The Terror of the Tongs
  Uncle Was a Vampire
  Sherlock Holmes & the Deadly Necklace
  The Longest Day
  Pirates of Blood River
  Puzzle of the Red Orchid a.k.a. Secret of the Red Orchid
  Devil’s Daffodil a.k.a. Daffodil Killer
• 1963 – Terror Castle a.k.a. Virgin of Nuremberg
  What a.k.a. Night is the Phantom
  Devil’s Ship Pirates
  Castle of the Living Dead
• 1964 – The Gorgon
• 1965 – Dracula, Prince of Darkness
  Rasputin, the Mad Monk
  Dr. Terror’s House of Horror
  The Skull
  Face of Fu Manchu
  She
• 1966 – Brides of Fu Manchu
• 1967 – Vengeance of Fu Manchu
  Theatre of Death
  Circus of Fear a.k.a. Psycho Circus
  Night of the Big Heat a.k.a. Island of the Burning Damned
  The Devil Rides Out a.k.a. The Devil’s Bride
  Five Golden Dragons
  The Torture Chamber of Dr Sadism
  Curse of the Crimson Altar a.k.a. The Reincarnation a.k.a. about five other titles!
• 1968 – Eve
  The Oblong Box
  Dracula Has Risen From the Grave
  Blood of Fu Manchu a.k.a. Kiss and Tell
• 1969 – Castle of Fu Manchu a.k.a. Torture Chamber of Fu Manchu
  Assignment: Istanbul
  Taste the Blood of Dracula
  Night of the Blood Beast a.k.a. Throne of the Blood Monster
  The Magic Christian
  One More Time
• 1970 – Eugenie: The Story of Her Journey Into Perversion a.k.a. Sade 70
  El Conde Dracula a.k.a. Bram Stoker’s Dracula
  The Scars of Dracula
  Scream & Scream Again
  The House That Dripped Blood
  Julius Caesar
  The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes
• 1971 – I, Monster
• 1972 – Dracula AD 1972 a.k.a. Dracula Today
  Hannie Calder
  Dark Places
  Poor Devil (TVM)

• 1973 – The Satanic Rites of Dracula a.k.a. Count Dracula & His Vampire Bride
  Panic on the Trans-Siberian Express a.k.a. Horror Express
  Creeping Flesh
  Nothing But The Night
  Deathline a.k.a. Raw Meat
  The Wicker Man
• 1974 – The Three Musketeers
  The Man with the Golden Gun
• 1975 – Tendre Dracula
  In Search of Dracula
  The Four Musketeers
• 1976 – Dragon’s Murder
  Killer Force
  Mask of Murder
  To the Devil a Daughter
  Revenge of the Dead
  Dracula Pere et Fils
  Meat Cleaver Massacre
  Diagnosis: Murder
• 1977 – Airport ’77
  Starship Invasion a.k.a. Alien Encounter
  End of the World
• 1978 – Return From Witch Mountain
  Caravans
  The Pirate
• 1979 – The Passage
  Arabian Adventure
  1941
  Circle of Iron a.k.a. The Silent Flute
  Bear Island
  Captain America II
• 1981 – The Salamander
  An Eye for an Eye
  Goliath Awaits (TVM)
  Jaguar Lives
• 1982 – Safari 3000
• 1983 – The House of the Long Shadows
  Whispering Death
  The Return of Captain Invincible a.k.a. The Legend in Leotards
• 1984 – Rosebud Hotel
  The Howling II
• 1988 – Murder Story
• 1989 – The Return of the Three Musketeers
• 1990 – Treasure Island
  Gremlins II
  The Rainbow Thief

Great mysteries of our time #739 : Where do misprints go between the final draft and the finished item? ‘Cos I’m damned if the final draft had ‘Heane 17’ for Heaven 17, or credited TIM Lehmann, instead of Michael, for directing ‘Heathers’. Still, at least the former can be put down to typing frenzy and the latter, well, I got it right in TC4, which proves I’m not completely ignorant. TC is not alone in mis-prints as I’ve recently seen two references to ‘Isla, She Wolf of the SS’ – I knew Miss St Clair was hard up but… Presumably a similar gremlin caused Warner Home Video to release ‘Zoltan, Hound of Dracula’, as part of their House of Hammer collection when the film was a cheap (tho’ endearing) American rip-off. And I’m now a little more cynical about the joys of DTP after the rumour that NK was due to appear in Peter Greenaway’s next film was discredited in exactly the same place it had first appeared, two weeks after I’d rewritten my editorial to accomodate it.

In fifty years time when my grandchildren ask me, “What did you do during the Great Poll Tax Riots of 1990?”, I’ll be able to look them straight in the eye and say, “I was sitting in the Scala cinema watching ‘Queen of Outer Space’ starring Zsa Zsa Gabor”. I have a theory that history is largely determined by people with nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon.

Distribution: TC5 was available in/from Forbidden Planet and Psychotronic Videos (both London), Artware of Germany and a couple of other places that might get mentioned when I get paid for the issues! More outlets should follow. Thanks to Andy Waller, Kevin McLure, John London, Pete “Eat Them Alive” Shepherd, Claire Blamey and the Men in Black, Malcolm Dalglish (who got out of the bath to answer my queries – sorry!) & Dave Bryan.

Hideous lack of space this issue – even this editorial is edited. Next issue will be out whenever it appears, which may not be long given the amount of unused stuff lying around. TC7 should include Rutger Hauer, John Waters, ‘Deathstalker II’, more conspiracies & Shock Around the Clock 4.

“The street will find it’s own use for technology”

Trash City 6

Summer 1990.

Bringing you fun in the sun, Nastassja Kinski, splatter movies, culture from East and West, conspiracy theory, some very bad fiction, some very good fiction, Christopher Lee, and more deviant ideas than you can shake a stick at. People of a sensible disposition or with deep faith in copyright law should stop here. No back issues are currently available, though bribery in that area may be productive. For the record, previous TC’s were:

• TC0 – Nastassja Kinski, the Human League, “Hellbound” + H.G.Lewis
• TC1 – Black Sunday ’89, NK, “Salo”, DIY flamethrowers + Holiday ’88
• TC2 – Shock 2, NK, “Reform School Girls”, “Edge of Sanity” + a road accident
• TC3 – lists, Cicciolina, Linnea Quigley, + “The New Avengers”
• TC4 – “Ilsa”, “The Railway Children”, Tom & Jerry + eye violence
• TC5 – Sybil Danning, “G.L.O.W.”, “Dangermouse”, Black Sunday ’90 + Troma

CONTENTS

1	Cover, colophon and contents	19	The TC Interview (PH)
3	Christopher Lee (MM & JM)	21	Desultory Nights (DFL)
7	Reader’s Ramblings	22	Born to be Wile
8	The Section With No Name	24	Film Blitz
10	Jailhouse Shock	30	Nightmares (PP)
12	Back to Black	32	Conspiracy Corner
14	Escape To New York	35	Incredibly Bad Book Show
16	The Joe Bob Backlash… (AF)	38	Orient Excess (TL, JM, PP & SW)
17	At last, the competition results!	48	Back Cover

CREDITS

Editor/benevolent dictator: Jim McLennan. Arty bits: Phil “it’s in the post” Mielewczyk, Per Porter and David Thomson. Texts: Alun Fairburn, Paul Higson, Tony Lee, Des Lewis, Andrew McGavin, Jim McLennan, Martin Murray, Per Porter & Steve Welburn. Printers: the ever wonderful Copyprint, London.

Subscriptions are available; 60p/issue UK, 80p/$1.25 in Europe, $3 elsewhere. A label on the envelope for subscribers tells you the last issue you’ll get + how much money will be left over after that. Cheques or PO’s made payable to Jim McLennan please. Contributions are welcome, and in any case I reserve the right to publish any correspondence unless specifically asked not to. All submissions, subscriptions, petitions and proclamations to:
    Jim McLennan, 247 Underhill Road, E.Dulwich, LONDON, SE22 0PB

T-shirts!

The idea of TC T-shirts has been put forward. I quite like the idea of running off a limited, full-colour one; the cost would probably be 7.95 or thereabouts. However, I don’t know what ought to be put on them! A past TC cover? All suggestions would be welcome…