[This is purely a personal choice by Jim McLennan – I suspect Steve and Per will wish to deny all connection with this list!]
Laser Eraser & Axel Pressbutton — A pair of assassins in a VERY odd future. Laden with lots of very black, i.e. sick, humour.
California Girls — Sorry about this one. Sickly sweet, aimed at people a lot younger than me, but it’s just so nice! Complete with paper dolls.
Mai the Psychic Girl – Japanese ‘manga’ comic. Gorgeous artwork, a lot less ‘wordy’ than American comics. Speciality: four-page plane crashes.
Hellblazer – Occult comic with religious overtones. Powerful stuff, well drawn and leaving a nasty taste in the mouth.
Evangeline – Unusual comic in that religious people are the ‘goodies’. It’s about a nun – a very dangerous nun…
Angel Love – Another sweet one, but this one tackles abortion, drug abuse, politics, etc. Didn’t last very long, more’s the pity.
Slash Maraud – One man fighting an alien invasion of earth. So many great, novel ideas in it; would love to see this one made into a film
Judge Anderson – Spin-off from the ‘Judge Dredd’ series, gratuitous violence, but a more sympathetic and human hero(ine) than the big D.
Natacha l’Hotesse de l’Air – French comic strip about an air-hostess. No, it’s not at all naughty, though there was this parody of it that was well O.T.T. How to learn French with no tears.
Normalman – A parody of/homage to a different comic style in every issue, ranging from Disney to EC’s horror comics, but you don’t need much knowledge of comics to appreciate the delightful humour.
And a few I think are only worthy as fire-lighters: Elfquest, ALL the Marvel comics I’ve seen, ‘funny animal’ books and all benefit comics!
My first introduction to this group was their previous work on “Incredibly Strange Films” (still available), a real work of genius that was one of the main factors responsible for getting me interested in the work of the marginal film directors and also provided the title for Jonathan Woss‘s series (and the article after this one, too!). Understandably, I was quite looking forward to this book, and although it doesn’t quite come up to the standard of their last work, there are enough gold nuggets to make it a worthwhile read.
The contributors all agree that there is more to the art of pranking than just playing tricks. The more malicious jokes, or those that only confirm the existing way of things are pointless — it takes no guts to execute a prank on a sub-ordinate, who has no means of hitting back. The best ones are those with a definite purpose, such as exposing bureaucracy or showing that you haven’t been ground down by society.
However, beyond this, the pranksters split into a wide variety of groups, ranging from Timothy Leary’s LSD japes through to performance artists who specialise in physically abusing themselves and/or the audience. This broad spectrum means that the- articles vary enormously in content and style, and therefore in how interesting they are; while some pontificate endlessly on the nature of pranks, others are less ethereal and give practical examples. I found the latter much more enjoyable — pranks are a down to earth thing and the lack of seriousness with which they viewed life mirrors my view.
Overall, worth borrowing, if not buying.
“Relics” — Shaun Hutson. Star, 2.95
Never read any of his books before, but picked this one up in the news-agents on Farnborough Station, with a sticker on the front saying it was ‘signed by the author‘. It was something of a pleasant surprise — I expected an endless catalogue of atrocities, but although there is plenty of blood, guts, gore and people getting their eyes gouged out, the linking passages are written better than I expected, and the plot, while not totally original, comfortably holds the interest, with the climax being especially breath-taking.
Basically, it’s a ‘monster on the rampage‘ story. An archaeological dig on a building site finds a network of tunnels (by the simple method of falling into them, one of the members being impaled on a spike in a VERY nasty scene), filled with human remains. People start dying, with their intestines arranged beside them to form letters and their eyes removed. After a lot of this, someone works out what the tunnels are for but to say any more would spoil the story.
It has to be said that after a few gratuitous set—pieces, they do seem to become more or less the same – there’s only so many ways you can describe some one being disembowelled. However, it was still an entertaining read, not quite up to the masters of the genre, Herbert and Barker, who are still a long way ahead in most departments, but enjoyable enough.
I’d like to start by stressing that I bought this because it has got a large bit about Nastassja Kinski in it. Any statements to the contrary will be referred to my lawyer (when she gets home from school).
The subject of this book is the history of the nymphette in the cinema, from the earliest days of the silent movies, through Elizabeth Taylor (funny, I could never really think of her as being less than about 50 myself) up to the modern era of Jodie Foster and Brooke Shields. My first thought is that it was a little odd that it was written by a woman – I wouldn’t have thought that the subject matter would have been interesting to a female. Her attitude throughout is not consistent; at times, she almost seems to condone fascination with young girls, while at other times she condemns it strongly, the overall impression being that “it’s alright to look, but not to touch” – fair enough, really.
It does not stick strictly to the title either. While most of it certainly is ‘Hollywood’ based, the section of Nastassja Kinski is heavily based on her, er, ‘relationship’ with Roman Polanski, which took place in Europe. He was not Flayour of the Month in Hollywood then (see elsewhere for some idea why!). As for ‘Lolitas’, those of you that have actually read the book by Nabokov, rather than just flicking through it looking for dirty bits, will know that at the start of the book she is 12, and by the end she is 17. So what the hell is Shirley Temple doing in this book? Surely not even the most depraved paedophile could find anything even remotely attractive about her – I want to vomit at the mere sight of her…
No matter. Keeping my own personal opinions out of this review, it is an interesting book for the most part. Plenty of photographs provide a well- written and documented history of this, previously neglected, area of the cinema. Now, where did I put those heart-shaped sunglasses?
It tends not to be just the over-the-top, gross special effects that make it onto this list — under-stated horror or the small set—pieces can be just as effective. So here’s a list of all-time classics, that have the same effect on me no matter how often I see them.
1) Jaws — The moment when they’re exploren the sunken boat and the severed head pops out of the port-hole.
2) Alien — Yes, THAT scene! John Hurt, the name actor, and a good bet to survive to the end of the film collapses at the table. Then his chest explodes. A masterpiece of shock.
3) Cat People — The zoo-keeper getting his arm ripped off by a panther in an almost entirely unexpected and horribly realistic manner.
4) Hellraiser – A couple hear a noise in the attic and go to investigate – when they get there they hear rats squeaking and assume this is what is responsible. But the camera pans round to reveal the rats, nailed to the wall…
5) The Gruesome Twosome – A girl is cut in two, but a long, lingering shot converts her assailant playing with her intestines from a brief moment of unpleasantess into a real squirmer.
6) The Thing — In this film, probably unbeaten for pure Shock Quantity, my ‘favourite’ bit is where they are carrying out blood tests using a hot wire, and the blood of a victim leaps out of the dish and scuttles about the floor.
7) The Fly — Brundlefly’s ear coming away in his hand and also when he squeezes his fingernails off in this masterpiece of visceral horror.
8) Re-Animator – Strangely, the scene that gets me is the brain operation performed by the lecturer. Everything else I can handle, but this? Ugghh!
9) Lethal Weapon – Mel Gibson being tortured by the guy wielding the electric prods. Shudder.
10) Tom and Jerry in The Flying Cat– Tom has succeeded in flying with the aid of a corset, but he falls out of it, and lands on top of a tree with one leg either side. To the accompaniment of a buzz-saw noise, the tree is split from top to bottom. I wince every time I see this — it looks a lot worse than it sounds!
These are just the first ten that come to mind, I’m sure that I could come up with a few more if I thought about it. This list is being written just before I pop off home to watch the ‘Evil Dead‘ and I’m sure that there are bits in it worthy of inclusion, but as I can’t remember the exact details, I’ve omitted it from the list.
Too many people nowadays have their opinions for no good reasons, but only because “everybody” knows it is true. We find it immensely annoying that people are not prepared to think for themselves – received wisdom may be right or may be wrong, but to refuse to challenge it, or accept that it may be challenged, is the sign of mental stagnation. This part of “Trash City” is designed to provoke a response, by attacking widely held attitudes, and hopefully forcing you to consider YOUR viewpoint. This is open season time; any subject, trash or non—trash may be hit, and we’re looking forward to receiving either your replies or your own rants.
THE DEATH OF DEMOCRACY
People normally talk about democracy as if it were something sacred, and to be preserved at all costs. However, it is my belief that democracy is a fallacy which occupies a far-too important place in today’s society.
Let me first elaborate exactly what I mean by democracy. I do not mean free speech, a free press or any of the other frilly bits round the edges – I mean the strange ritual every five years or so when most of the adult population go in to a curtained booth and put an X on a piece of paper in order to choose the next government.
Democracy is based on the principle that everyone should have a say in deciding how the country should be run. This is a fairly ridiculous idea, especially when you extend it to other fields. Everyone should have a shot at carrying out a heart transplant. Everyone deserves a chance to play for Arsenal (exception : everyone deserves a chance to play for Spurs — given their current form, they’d probably improve). Everyone ought to try their hand at flying the space shuttle. Silly, because you need skill and a lot of experience in these areas, so why should it be any different when it come to the vital task of choosing a government. which is an even more important task?
Personally, it seems to me to be a far better idea to take things like the choice of economic policy out of the hands of the people, 99% of whom (including myself) do not know the difference between monetarism and terrorism, and leave them up to those who understand the ramifications of their actions. I don’t doubt that a party that promised to abolish taxes would be pretty popular, but they’d wreck the economy if elected.
Of course, democracy has its place. When people’s views are of roughly equal value, either because they have the same skill and experience or where the matter in question is one where these factors are unimportant (such as moral issues), then democracy is probably the best way, but to believe that this is so for all issues is to be oblivious to the obvious.
My ideal system of government would be one where the various areas would be ‘ruled’ by houses of people with appropriate qualifications. For example, matters involving the economy would perhaps be discussed by a sample chosen at random of people with economy degrees.
An excellent example can be seen in the legal system in this country. The idea of being tried by ‘twelve men good and true‘ is a good one in theory, but selecting people at random from‘ the electoral roll is not going to get you twelve good people very often, especially in sensitive cases where sexism, racism or political viewpoint can make a difference. IfI was innocent, I’d rather be tried by a jury of 12 barristers or lawyers, who’d be far better able to see through the flim-flam put up by the prosecution than the random collection of lager louts, Sloane Rangers and other people with no legal knowledge provided by our ‘democratic’ system. This is not to mention the many areas such as fraud, where a detailed knowledge of the subject would be é distinct benefit for the jurors.
Overall, the sooner we get rid of the idea that democracy is the be—all and end-all of political systems, the better it’ll be for this country. It has it’s place, but there are also times where it’d be a far better idea to forget about it, and admit that there are times when it lS best to leave things up to the experts.
The Human League – Greatest Hits (Virgin LP, Cassette, CD, Video, etc)
With the release of the inevitable ‘Greatest Hits‘ compilation, now seems a good time to look back at the career of the Human League, possibly the best producers of pure pop ever, and certainly a lot better than the SAW produced synthidrivel which seems to have the charts in a vice-like grip. Some might doubt that the Human League are trash, but the evidence for the prosecution is damning :
They got their name from a board-game.
The two girl singers were found in a disco (just like a certain German actress)
Phil Oakey doesn’t have his ears pierced — he has his NIPPLES pierced (and there was always that unspoken question of whether Suzanne and Joanne did too…).
Their songs include a gin advert, a Gary Glitter cover and one inspired by Judge Dredd.
It’s difficult to think of any better credentials for admission to the Trash Pop Hall of Fame.
The compilation album barely recognises that they had already released 2 L.P’s before “Dare” — only “Being Boiled”, which made it into the charts on the back of the other successes (for a while there were SEVEN songs of theirs in the top 200). Admittedly, it is their “Greatest Hits”, but it seems a shame to ignore songs like “Empire State Human” and “WXJL Tonight”, which are easily up to the standard of later songs. Perhaps they wanted to avoid paying royalties to Ian Craig Marsh & Martyn Ware, who left before “Dare” to form Heaven 17. They eventually found success later, though there was a while when they were getting more income from the 2% or so of Human League royalties they got for letting Phil Oakey use the name, than from their own projects.
However, Heaven 17 are not our concern here. The video has “Circus of Death”, directed by Russell “Highlander” Mulcahy – a strange piece of work with ground—level shots following a cat about and none of the usual Human League trickery. More Joy Division, really. Then, joy of joys, we see the “real” League on Top of the Pops performing “Sound of the Crowd” (below) – this was where I first saw them, and I remember being totaly freaked by it! I was just turned 15, and here was this bloke with a weird hair-style and nipple—rings, accompanied by two over made-up girls and a bank of synths. I wouldn’t say it transformed my life, but I think we can say it was a formative influence… Looking at it now, it still seems their finest hour even if Adrian Wright seems to do sod all!
“Love Action”, I hadn’t seen before, but is interesting if a little dated now. “Open Your Heart” is excellent, with just the band and a white back- ground (plus a few bits of electronic jiggery-pokery) being a simple but effective accompaniment to a simple but effective song. Then we come to “Don’t you Want Me”, probably THE classic song of the decade, number one for what seemed like years, but was only five weeks. A video that would have won an Oscar had it been 30 times as long; meaningful looks, a plot that was never totally clear and photography that was art without ever being pretentious combine to produce a land—mark in video. When you look at the promos made nowadays, a good few groups could do with taking some lessons from it.
However, it couldn’t last. The cracks begin to show in the next two songs, as they start to take themselves seriously, and begin using real (shudder) instruments. In “(Keep Feeling) Fascination”,they are still clearly having a good time, but even this is destroyed by the time “The Lebanon” arrives, and we see them standing seriously in front of an audience, just like all those OTHER performance videos, singing a serious song about the oh so serious Middle East. Sob. The end of an era.
Since then, they have been a pale shadow of themselves, sliding slowly and effortlessly down the slope by producing anonymous soul music worthy on no attention whatsoever. 0nly “Life on Your Own‘, which has a nice video, Phil wandering through a deserted London, and “Electric Dreams”, the joint venture with Giorgio Moroder, capture the spark that Was The League, from the days when I used to draw the logo over everything.
R.I.P. The Human League. Thanks for all the ‘Hard Times’!!
If there is one unrelenting source of garbage, it’s songs made by people who have become famous for their work in other areas. Soap-stars, football players, everyone seems to think they can make a record. 99% of these are totally without redeeming merit, but the odd one is decadent enough to make it into the realms of trash.
Anybody heard Emma Ridley’s version of “School’s Out”? It is probably the worst record, in terms of singing ability, I have ever heard — however, in the video, Miss Ridley gets back to doing what she does best, taking her clothes off. The result is a stunningly wonderful piece of Trash. I think she is now 16, which I suppose makes it legal, if not especially decent…
If you haven’t seen the video, you have my sympathy. I don’t think it will be shown again, even if it gets to No.1 — let’s face it, TotP aren’t going to show a sixteen year old putting it about in her underwear if they won’t even let you mention the word “Ac*d”
[Thanks to the joys of YouTube, I am now able to embed the video below. It is every bit as dreadful as I remember it…]
Here are a few films I’ve seen recently and enjoyed – not all are new releases, or are even fresh on video, but I’ve not seen them before.
‘Legend’ (Ridley Scott) – If you’ve seen ‘Blade Runner’, you’ll know Ridley Scott is a genius at using light and shade. This film is another excellent example of the same, even if it does sometimes look like an add. Tom Cruise is VERY un-“Top Gun”, no bad thing.
‘Day of the Dead‘ (George Romero) – A slow-starter; I went out for a few games of Zaxxon after the first 20 minutes as the cast spent more time bitching at each than fighting the zombies. But when Tom Savini gets+ his FX going, the film heats up rapidly. The image of a character screaming “Choke on ’em!” at the zombie chewing on his intestines, as he is torn apart, is the stuff of nightmares.
‘The Hidden‘ (Jack Sholder) – I first saw this in July at ‘Shock Around the Clock’, and enjoyed it just as much I recently saw it again on national release. A fast-paced gem of a movie, always entertaining, full of loud music, car chases and a cool performance from Kyle MacLachlan.
‘Reform School Girls‘ (Tom de Simone) – Well over-the-top story of life in a borstal whose inhabitants include a geriatric Wendy O. Williams and where the prison uniform is a wide range of exotic lingerie. Trashiest film I’ve seen in years, bit brutal here & there but brilliant overall.
