Movies seen theatrically in 2009: three. Yes: you could count then on the fingers of one hand, while still hanging on to your large popcorn. This continues a trend noted in last year’s review, though was exacerbated by us moving house in the middle of the year. As well as the experience occupying us and then leaving us drained of energy for the summer blockbuster season, our new location doesn’t have quite the same easy access to cinemas. Though two of the three movies did make it into the top ten – the other being Avatar – I will also admit that four of the listed films arrived in TC Towers, shall we say, in unofficial ways.

Still, when the top five for the year included not only Avatar, but also Transformers 2 and Twilight: New Moon, Hollywood largely has itself to blame for my absence. But since overall American box-office was up 10% on 2008, and cracked the ten billion dollar mark for the first time, I doubt they noticed. However, I also think this does prove that any claims the downloading of movies is killing the industry are clearly nonsense, just as the music business somehow managed to survive audio-cassettes.

As usual, links go to the most appropriate review, which may be here or may be on GirlsWithGuns.org, and I am limiting myself for the purposes of this list, to movies that got their first North American release in 2009.  But here’s also a list of films seen in the past, which might have merited cond for a previous year’s top ten (having been rated B or better]. Lights in the Dusk, Vantage Point, The Memory of a Killer, In Bruges, Let the Right One In, The Wrestler, The Insurgents, Singh is Kinng, Ils, Black Book, Traitor, Fermat’s Room, King Arthur, Stuck, El Rey de la Montaña, Man on Wire, The Strangers, Let Him Have It, Princess Aurora

10. Raging Phoenix
Following up on Chocolate, which made last year’s list, Jeeja Yanin proves that when it comes to action-heroines, the Thais have it. Though not quite as “untainted” [in the sense that this time, the lead’s undoubted talents were more obviously enhanced by some wirework], the action was gloriously hard-hitting, in particular the final confrontations with the scary Roongtawan Jindasing, whom Chris was convinced was a man. The clash of power and flexibility was a joy to behold.

9. Ghost Image
Initially seeming as little more than a lame rip-off of The Ring – a haunted videotape, not seen that before – this managed to get past that, and deliver a genuinely creepy effort, that had a solid script and performance that made it credible. The ghost story has been one of the most over-mined genres of recent years [and the success of Paranormal Activity means that is likely to continue in 2010], but Ghost Image proved that there is still potential for fresh and interesting angles on the area.

8. Monsters vs. Aliens
The trailers didn’t do this justice – it looked like another in the apparently endless line of formulaic CGI animated movies churned out by Hollywood. However, that hid some smart writing, which elevated the film well above its competitors e.g. Bolt, and delivered a loving throwback to monster movies of the 50’s and 60’s, both in the West and Japan. Enjoyable for kids of all ages, this never forgot that the most important point of entertainment, is to actually be entertaining.

7. The Hurt Locker
That is also important for this film, which succeeded where many previous attempts to make a movie centred on the Iraq conflict have failed. It didn’t bother taking sides, and there was no discussion about whether the bomb-disposal unit should be there. They were, and this concerned their efforts to survive, in a world where death conceivably lurked behind every pile of rubble or with each approaching bystander. With tension amped up to 11, it was the year’s most highly-caffeinated movie.

6. Zombieland
Continuing to show that there’s life in the old undead yet, this was probably less a true zombie movie, than a road movie set against a backdrop of shambling flesheaters. Certainly self-aware, but at no time sinking into self-parody [there’s going to be a Scream 4 coming out? Really?], and with four beautifully-drawn central characters, each possessing their own quirks and foibles. Add in an all-you-can-shoot zombie bloodbath at the end, and you’ve got another good entry in the reborn genre.

5. Star Trek
The term “reboot” gets thrown about a lot in Hollywood, and the results have been variable, shall we say. However, this one worked very nicely, managing to return to the two-fisted style of the classic series, while still respecting the original (not least in what was probably the year’s best cameo). They got the casting just about spot-on too, with the actors chosen credible as young versions of the well-loved characters. While I am still not entirely sure about the whole Uhura-Spock thing, this was still a fine re-start to the franchise.

4. The Machine Girl
This lurid tale of betrayal, deep-fried limbs and mechanically-enhanced revenge painted the walls red, at the kind of firehose levels of blood pressure only ever seen in Japanese splatter movies. OTT excess is all the better, when done with a perfectly-straight face, and that’s what we have here. It hits the ground running with an opening sequence (below) that can only be described as berserk, and hardly pauses for breath the rest of its 96 minute running time. If you saw only one movie featuring drill bras last year, this was probably it.

3. District 9
It’s interesting to compare this to Avatar. Both films are about a human who is sent into an alien race, initially with malevolent intentions, but he comes to realize that they are not quite as painted, and he eventually [spoiler alert] becomes one of them [end spoiler alert]. District 9, however, managed to do it with a great deal less ham-handed bludgeoning of the audience, even if the apartheid symbolism here was kinda obvious. Technologically, it was a seamless meshing of CGI – you literally could not see the join – and it was also among the most credible depictions of what might happen when/if we finally have our first encounter.

2. Princess
Denmark is not really regarded as a hot-bed of animation, but this piece of work certainly made up for in impact anything that it lacked in mind-blowing technical quality. Truly a film which could only be done in animation [due to some truly shocking scenes involving the very young child at the center of things], it packed an emotional wallop far greater than all the tentacle rape flicks ever to come out of Japan, and uses live-action flashbacks and fantasy sequences, pulling the viewer in, to the point where the wallops which the movie then delivers have all the more tragic impact.

1. Martyrs
After a stream of highly-touted foreign horror movies that failed to live up to the hype. this one finally delivered the goods on all levels. While not skimping on the gore, with some of the nastiest violence to come across the screen, it was the fact that there was more than sheer psychopathy at work which made it disturbing. The perpetrators truly believed what they were doing was entirely justified, believing the ends justified the means ( I imagine the Nazis probably thought similarly). The degree of man’s inhumanity to man – or woman to woman – shown here can only be admired, in an appalling sort of way.

Everyone else is doing their top ten films of the decade piece, so why buck the trend? Though I’m not even going to start getting into the whole “Well, technically, the decade runs from 2001-2010…” thing. This is based entirely on movies released in years that start “200”, with Wikipedia being the source of information on the date of a particular film.  You may notice some differences from the year-by-year lists previously published. This is mostly because some films stand the test of time better than others. The year-end lists tend to be based on a single viewing, while all the titles listed below hall gone through multiple viewings [in some case, multiple-multiple viewings], and been found to be just as effective – or even more so – than when initially seen.

Links go to the most appropriate review, either here or on GirlsWithGuns.org. Honorary mentions [in alphabetical order]: The Animatrix, The Booth, Children of Men, Finding Nemo, Gladiator, Kung Fu Hustle, Nine Queens, The Returner, The Ring, Shoot ‘Em Up, Signs, Sin City, Sexy Beast, 300.

• 10. Sick Girl
  Horror movies should make you uncomfortable. They should make you squirm in your seat. And even the jaded horror fans that Chris and I are were made very uncomfortable by this, more so than any other of the hundreds of genre entries that strayed across our eyeballs in the past decade. Martyrs made a late push to dethrone this, but Leslie Andrews’ performance here is just so disconnected and matter-of-fact, as she carries out the most unspeakable of acts on her victims. Horror – true horror, not torture-porn – is absolute indifference to the suffering of others, and it’s this chilling effect which lies at the heart of Sick Girl and its impact.
• 9. The Dark Knight
  Would certainly have ranked higher, if we didn’t have a strong urge to clear our throat, every time Bale’s caped crusader spoke. Otherwise, however, this is near perfect, highlighted of course by the stunning performance of Heath Ledger as The Joker. Every time we come across the film on cable, we have to put it on, especially if it’s in time to see the sublime “How about a magic trick?” scene. The scope and scale of Christopher Nolan’s vision is the perfect backdrop for this larger-than-life performance, which succeeds in engaging both brain and heart in a way few “comic-book” movies have ever managed to do.

• 8. Versus
  At the risk of mixing my metaphors terribly, this fuels up on adrenalin and goes full-throttle straight for the action jugular, Ryuhei Kitamura coming out of nowhere to deliver one of the most purely-entertaining action flicks of all time. Packed with characters who can best be described as “fascinating,” it combines impressive imagination with spectacular execution on a tiny budget, punches far above its weight as a result. Zombies, swordplay, really-big guns and martial-arts combine in a delightful and heady cocktail that is quite unique. Some of Kitamura’s subsequent work has been solid; nothing has quite matched Versus.
• 7. Kill Bill, Volume 1
  Proof that, when Quentin Tarantino reins in his verbal diarrhoea and keeps himself off-screen, he is capable of delivering a thoroughly-entertaining piece of work. He is now 1-for-6 there [not see Inglorious Bastards yet], thanks to the best action-heroine film to come out of Hollywood in the decade. Uma Thurmann’s Bride was a tornado of revenge, chewing up and spitting out any and all who got in her path, be it old friends like Vernita Green, new enemies such as Go-Go Yubari or, in the film’s most impressive sequence, an entire pack of enraged, masked Japanese men wielding samurai swords.  A marvellous swirling of popular cultures.

• 6. Wall-E
  Not the last Pixar movie you’ll see in this list, and the studio dominated the decade as far as animation goes, in the way Studio Ghibli did the mid-80’s to mid-90’s. After a bit of a road-bump with Cars [pun not intended], Pixar roared back with a tale about a garbage clean-up robot that falls in love with a probe. James Cameron could have learned how to make non-human characters – indeed, non-organic ones here – sympathetic. They could conceivably have made the entire film without a single word of meaningful dialogue, and it would still have been eqally as marvellous. Or possibly even more so.
• 5. Borat
  I still have absolutely no idea how this subversive piece of surrealist theatre managed to get a massive release across the entire world [except, I suspect, Kazakhstan]. Too much of what passed as ‘satire’ in this decade was toothless, but Sacha Baron Cohen hit his marks with impeccable precision, as he tore across the United States from New York to Pamela Anderson. Great satire should offend people – especially its targets – but Baron Cohen exposed not just the prejudice inherent in Western society, but also its remarkable tolerance for and patience with outsiders. It made us laugh, cringe, and think, a unique triple-play.

• 4. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
  The only martial-arts movie to ever make me shed a tear, because for once, equal attention was given to the characters as to the ass-kickery. The relationships between them had a genuine, timeless feel to them which meant the period setting was not a strait-jacket for the storyline. The amazing action sequences which punctuated proceedings, by Yuen Wo-Ping, had a lyrical grace and imagination to them which has rarely been matched: the duel between Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Zi-yi was probably the finest one-on-one fight in the period covered here, like watching water go over a cliff. Add the emotional punch of the end, and it’s a masterpiece.
• 3. Monsters Inc.
  Oh, look – another Pixar movie. I could just copy and paste the paragraph above, about the ability to make non-human characters work.  However, this was not only a very sweet and innocent love story, it was also riotously-funny, and showcased a blizzard of pure imagination – the lifeblood of animation. This was apparent, not only in the construction of Monstropolis, but also the characters which populated it, and all the way to little things like the street signs [Stalk/Don’t Stalk]. CGI animation is no longer anything rare or unusual; however, this film transcends the medium and is simply great movie-making.

• 2. Shaun of the Dead
  Probably counts as our most-watched film of the decade. Any time it’s on – even on a non-premium channel, where it has been been formatted to fit the screen, run in the time allotted and edited for content – we just have to watch it, rejoicing in the glorious dialogue and marvellous combination of horror and comedy, two notoriously difficult genres to combine well [many have tried – most have failed, and few things are worse than a horror-comedy that is neither horrific nor funny]. There is not a wrong step, weak moment or wasted sentence to be found in the entire thing. Makes me proud to be British.
• 1. Lord of the Rings – Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and Return of the King
  To commemorate the end of the decade, I decided it was long past time to pull out all three entries in the series, and watch them back-to-back-to-back, see if they all held up. The versions in question were the extended cuts of parts one and three, and the regular version of part two – we really didn’t feel that it was a film particularly in need of additional footage of tree pontificating. The results of this furry-footed marathon are a separate article, which can be found here.

I think this year probably marked a new low-water mark for going to the cinema, perhaps since I moved to London in 1987 – largely for economic reasons, as well as the more traditional ones of sloth and the theatrical experience gradually being overtaken by the home one. There are a declining number of films which I feel need to be seen at the multiplex, when the alternative involves soft, fluffy, pillowy goodness, snacks of our choosing and no young people talking incessantly [well, only Robert, and he has spent most of 2008 watching the complete works of Stargate in the living-room]. Why bother going out, when we can wait for it to appear on cable and Tivo it for viewing at our convenience?

Hence, there are probably a number of films which probably would have qualified, yet have yet to drift across our retinas. Much the same way as, say Shoot ‘Em Up and The Bourne Ultimatum would have been in the 2007 Top Ten, had we seen them when we were writing it, this list should be taken as reflecting only the situation at the present time. Quantum of Solace may make it in due course: Twilight and Beverly Hills Chihuahua should probably not be holding their breath though. On the other hand, for the first time in a while (2004 was the last year), I did actually see both the #1 and #2 at the box-office at the movies, though this may reflect their dominance as much as anything. This year, only three films passed $230 million, the smallest number since 2000 [when The Grinch was top, which gives you some idea what a cinematic feast was available there]. I was quite surprised to see Indiana Jones and the Overlong Title was one of them, though the others are likely no surprise.

The top two both made the Trash City top ten too, which is something of a shock, because popular taste and my taste rarely coincide. It’s the first time that’s happened for the #1+2 in takings, since the double-bill of Return of the King and Finding Nemo topped both box-office and TC charts, five years ago. Not quite as strong a correlation in 2008, admittedly, yet anything is better than nothing. So, bearing in mind the limitations of what I haven’t seen yet, here are my favorite ten films of 2008. Links go to the full review, either here or on GirlsWithGuns.org, as appropriate.

10. The Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust
Certainly winner of the Title of the Year award, this entertaining B-movie had few pretensions, except for a desire to skewer the world of B-movies: talk about biting the hand. With a sharp, witty script, and a host of cameos from people who should probably know better, this was simply a lot of fun, taking advantages of the strengths that low-budget movies possess, and wisely not reaching beyond those goals.

9. Dark Heart (left)
Sometimes, the best films succeed on the simplest level: the viewer wants to know what happened next. This movie demonstrates this admirably, a taut piece of work, mostly taking place in a deserted house where an Iraqi veteran is taken, after unwisely shooting his mouth off in a bar about a stash of money. ‘Hilarity ensues,’ as they say. Ok: it doesn’t, but the script is crisp and taut, and that’s the most important thing.

8. Iron Man
I haven’t been too impressed with most films based on comics before this year, but we had a couple of crackers in 2008. This one was simply enormous fun, with Downey a perfect choice for the role, and thoroughly deserving the career resurrection which resulted. Expensive, loud and packed with well-shot action, it was a rare example of a film that really needed to be seen at the cinema to be enjoyed.

7. Chocolate
Though if you wanted your action flavoured with copious amounts of bone-crunching, then you needed to unwrap a bar of Chocolate. From the director who turned Tony Jaa into a star, this starred the catchily-named JeeJa Vismistananda as an autistic girl who learns martial arts off the TV. Long story short: contains probably the most painful large-scale fight scene since Jackie Chan’s heyday. And quite a few others too.

6. Diary of the Dead
After the somewhat disappointing Land of the Dead, Romero got back to form, by going back to basics: a small band of no-name actors, pitted against a large number of hungry zombies. George adopted some of the concepts from Blair Witch and Cloverfield, but reined in the worst excesses, and was more effective than both as a result. Skewering the flesh and the media with equal enthusiasm, nice to see Romero still has it in him.

5. Machine Girl
Trust the Japanese to go and one-up Romero when it comes to the splatter. I can’t do much better than repeat my GWG recap: “For those who thought the Black Knight scene in Holy Grail was just too restrained in its use of arterial spray.” Right from the opening scene, the film was awash in the old red stuff; I think it probably counts as the goriest film I’ve seen since the heyday of early Peter Jackson. Silly, over the top, cheap, lurid and wonderful.

4. WALL-E
When the world seems to have turned against you, it’s occasionally comforting to curl up with a feel-good flick – and no-one does them better over the past decade or so, than Pixar. Be it insects, toys, monsters, fish or, as here, robots, the studio can take almost anything, giving it heart and making you care about it, in a way most human actors and directors would kill for. Great to see them back on form.

3. The Bank Job (right)
Jason Statham had a bit of a mixed year. Death Race was lame, and working with Uwe Boll is never a good sign, though even I haven’t had the guts to sit through the 127 minutes of In the Name of the King. However, the #1 British action hero reached a new career-high with The Bank Job, which deftly spun a tale of a largely-forgotten moment in our country’s history, and gave Statham a chance to do some acting, an aspect of his talent often ignored by all but Guy Ritchie.

2. The Dark Knight
Rarely are commercial success and artistic acclaim so well aligned as here; one does have to wonder, would it have been quite so popular in either, save the untimely death of Heath Ledger? Regardless: it is what it is, and what it is is probably the best comic-book adaptation ever [though I still love Batman Returns on a number of levels]. Ledger dominates the screen in a sweeping epic that has brains, heart and soul, overshadowing even Bale’s caped crusader. If someone had given Batman a throat lozenge, this would probably have been #1.

1. Sick Girl
Chris found the trailer for this, and we immediately had to have it for our Film Festival. When we got the DVD, we had some trepidation: surely it couldn’t live up to the trailer? It didn’t. It surpassed the trailer, thanks mostly to Leslie Andrews’ completely disconnected performance in the title role. It’s a film that’s probably highly offensive, simply for daring to make the viewer empathize with a character whose idea of fun includes torture of the most sadistic kind. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Monkey Business

2005 was a lacklustre twelve months – or perhaps it just seemed that, without an obvious standout at the top, in the way of previous years. Actual cinema-going was definitely down from 2005, not just for me but it seems in the county as a whole: an increase in ticket-prices and irritants [the parents who thought a four-year old child would enjoy King Kong should be barred from the movies for life], and the increasing appeal of home theatre, helped sap the appeal of the cinema experience.

On a personal level, this certainly meant that viewing at the McLennan Scottsdale 2 theater – that’s our living-room and bedroom, in case you wondered – reached record heights. However, my return to “proper” employment both wiped out Friday through Monday evenings; while you can work around this [Wednesdays and Thursday night have become our preferred viewing sessions] it did also prevent attendance at the Phoenix Film Festival for the first year ever. And that’s a shame, as it was always good for an unexpected gem or two.

Which is more than can be said for the box-office hits of 2005. I did vaguely want to see the #1, Revenge of the Sith, but in actuality, only five of the top 25: War of the Worlds, King Kong, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Batman Begins and – earlier tonight, actually – Mr + Mrs. Smith unfolded in front of my eyes. All competent enough, in their own way, but only one makes the top 10. As for the others, it’s not an issue of time, money or other patrons holding loud cellphone conversations. I simply see very little that I have any desire to spend money on: pointless remakes like The Longest Yard, Fun With Dick and Jane and The Dukes of Hazzard do not exactly inspire me to run to the cinema.

Things were little better on the arthouse side, with Brokeback Mountain this year’s Sideways, i.e. the critically-acclaimed darling which I have no interest in at all. I do not watch cowboy movies; I do not watch romances; I do not watch (quote, unquote) “gay” movies. So, why, exactly, would I go and see a gay cowboy romance? And if this makes me narrow-minded and homophobic in your eyes, so be it. This year’s Oscars threaten to be the blandest in a very long time as far as I’m concerned: will Miyazaki get another Oscar, being about the limit of my interest [I predict no, it’ll go to Nick Park instead].

Fortunately, a steady stream of DVDs filled the gap nicely, and a tip of the hat here to Ed, Amanda and Darrin, of MTI, The Asylum and Brain Damage respectively, who have been of much help this year – and find themselves with an entry each in the top 10. [Thanks also to Rhiannon at ArtsMagic, whose omission is largely because they release mostly back-catalog stuff, which is not eligible here. If it was, Osaka Tough Guys would certainly be a contender.]

Companies like these are why I increasingly believe that the future of movies is less and less tied to the theatre, and more to DVD, streamed downloading and other alternative methods which will allow the film-makers largely to bypass conventional distribution methods. All of these should lead to more choice and convenience for consumers to watch what they want, when they want. Though if there is a way for the studios to screw everything up, I’m sure they’ll a) find it, and b) blame piracy. Memo to Hollywood: make better movies, and people will show up. But enough of such things…

Firstly, some honorary mentions to movies which almost made the cut, but didn’t quite get in, for one reason or other. In alphabetical order, they are: Howl’s Moving Castle, Khakee [which would have been in 2004’s Top Ten, if seen a couple of months earlier], Night Watch (left), Red Riding Hood, Subhuman and War of the Worlds.

• 10. Shadow Hunters. Microbudget film of the year, making up for in imagination what it (admittedly, often obviously) lacked in production values. Demons + co-eds + a deserted hospital = loads of fun.
• 9. Never Been Thawed. The mockumentary is a tricky genre to get right, but this is deliciously deadpan, taking potshots at the worlds of rock-music, Christianity and obsessive collectors with equal abandon.
• 8. The Kiss. Despite the director all but disowning this because of studio interference, it still had a warmth and genuine heart to it that came through any post-production tampering. Caused more sniffling on the TC couch than any film in quite some time.
• 7. Dead Men Walking. The cinematic equivalent of the wood-chipper: it really only serves one purpose, but is very good at what it does. DMW‘s purpose is head shots. It is very good at what it does.

• 6. Azumi 2: Death or Love. While not the same director as the original, and less visually stylish as a result, this was still a highly-entertaining piece of swordplay. From the writer of Ninja Scroll, there were great enemies for our young heroine to face, amid plentiful sprays of digital blood.
• 5. Cup of my Blood. The truly intelligent horror-film is a rare beast these days (now Cronenberg seems to have left the genre), but it’s not quite dead yet. Mixed religious paranoia, sex and good, old-fashioned gore to fine effect.
• 4. Cypher. The rest of the world got this in 2002, but America only just caught up. More fool us. The biggest cinematic Dick-ing ever – er, as in Phillip K. Dick, that is – with a mind-bending plot that defies explanation, and a nicely-rendered corporate future.
• 3. King Kong. Okay, the first hour was awful, and as the boat arrived at Skull Island, this looked as likely a contender for the Top 10 as Are We There Yet?. But Jackson redeemed himself in spades, with the best action set-pieces of the year.
• 2. Kung Fu Hustle. Steven Chow in top form, albeit only a supporting role, in a film that melded classic martial-arts with Warner Bros cartoons to spawn what may be an entirely new genre: kung-fun…
• 1. Sin City. Finally, a film based on a comic-book that actually captures the unique look and feel of the medium. A slew of great stories, well-told, and with a love for the genre that was both immediate and infectious. What the cinema should be about.

Where Have All The Hobbits Gone?

Funny how a year changes things. This time in 2004, I was looking forward to Van Helsing and Alien vs. Predator – laugh? Why I oughta… – while the odds of Shrek 2 making it into my top ten for the year seemed slim at best. Okay, it still didn’t quite get there, but it came a damn sight closer than expected. And we’re still waiting for Constantine (now a February 2005 release) and Ultraviolet, which is vaguely scheduled for August.

But enough about films that didn’t come out. I saw seven of the top ten grossing films, the exceptions being The Bourne Supremacy, Shark Tale and Troy. The middle-named wins the 2004 TC “why is anyone going to watch this?” award, replacing last year’s champion, Bruce Almighty. Again, the usual mix of sequels and adaptations (or both, in the case of Bourne) ruled, with The Incredibles beating Shark Tale in the Most Successful Original Story category. Is animation the last refuge of imagination these days? [Best animated film of 2005: Howl’s Moving Castle (right – click on the pic to see all the luscious detail). Hey, it’s Miyazaki, so I’m not exactly going out on a limb]

It’s kinda odd to find Christmas rolling around, without a Lord of the Rings movie to see, though sure many of you will find the extended version of Return of the King in your stocking come Christmas morning. [The bad news is, of the 50 extra minutes, 48 of them are additional footage of hobbits hugging each other goodbye…] One thing this will do, is make the Academy Awards a lot less interesting. After last year’s Middle Earth domination, we’ll be back to the usual worthy-but-dull dramas, with the odds strongly against any of our favourites even getting a nod, never mind a statuette. We’ll just have to wait for the mainstream breakthrough of the next former splatter-movie director. Alex Chandon, now is your hour…

Here’s our top ten choices for 2004 – but, first, a few honorary mentions for others we enjoyed over the past year, in no particular order: The Cooler, The Great American Snuff Movie, Touching The Void, Mean Girls, Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed. Shrek 2, The Hazing, and Resident Evil: Apocalypse.

#10 – House of Flying Daggers [review on gwg.org]. Okay, it’s not quite Crouching Tiger, though it desperately wants to be, but it still had the best action sequences of the year, and some of the best cinematography as well. Fluid moviemaking, the art of which seems lost to Hollywood.

#9 – Kill Bill, Volume 2 [review on gwg.org]. Not quite as good as part one, it looked like Tarantino didn’t quite keep his self-indulgence in check. But when it worked – and, for the most part, it did – it really worked. Uma Thurman’s revenge mission continued, with more style, grace, violence and irritatingly-hip dialogue than you could ever want.

#8 – The Chronicles of Riddick. A tremendously guilty pleasure, taking me back to the days when I’d haunt the SF section of my local library, devouring even the pulpiest trash with abandon. Ludicrous, overblown, nonsensical. But enjoyable as hell, with Vin Diesel proving why he’s the ultimate bad-ass, even though his acting ability is questionable, at best.

#7 – Up For Grabs. It was a good year for documentaries, though you won’t find Moore’s polemic rant listed here (post-election, it seems an irrelevance). Instead, here’s a film about a baseball, and the struggle for possession of it. And yet, it’s a metaphor for all human exis…oh, who am I trying to kid. But in the light of the increasing damning evidence for Bonds’ steroid use, this gets even funnier.

#6 – The Incredibles. Another year, another Pixar production. Another top 10 spot. But this spot is actually a drop, after two consecutive #2’s. Still funny, still intelligent, even more action-packed than its predecessors, it did feel a little lacking in heart – but only in comparison to their other masterpieces. By any other standard, this was an instant classic.

#5 – Aileen: The Life and Death of a Serial Killer. Nick Broomfield is the best documentarian currently working, – Michael Moore isn’t fit to load his camera. This creepy follow up to his early film about serial killer Aileen Wuornos finishes the story by covering the days up to her execution with an unflinching, neutral eye. Both those pro- and anti- the death penalty will find much food for thought here.

#4 – Noon Blue Apples. Ah, conspiracies. Yet while The Da Vinci Code film gets all the press, it’ll be hard pushed to capture the paranoid anxiety of those who delve into the world of secret and forbidden knowledge. That’s something Noon does almost perfectly, and your head will be spinning like a top by the time you get out. If you do…

#3 – Aan: Men at Work. Certainly the biggest surprise of the year, who’d have thought our first-ever excursion into Bollywood would make this list? We certainly didn’t, and were delighted to find a fabulous mix of influences, hot bullet-squibbing, martial arts action and – of course – song and dance numbers. If Korea is the new Hong Kong, cinematically, India is the new Korea…

#2 – Bloody Mallory. Lions’ Gate have been sitting on this one for at least two years, but I’m damned if I’m going to let it be ignored any longer. Sure, it’s not technically a 2004 release, but it should have been, so I’m including it here (hey, it’s my top 10!). Go to Ebay right now, and get one of the unofficial copies. For energetic, imaginative, visually striking horror-action, this is the best film since Blade II at the very least.

#1 – Shaun of the Dead. The first British film to win the coveted #1 spot, Shaun not only lived up to all expectations, it surpassed them. You’d have to go back a very long way (Evil Dead 2? Re-Animator? Brain Dead?) to find a horror/comedy that worked so well on both sides of the slash. Repeat viewing makes it even better: seen it three times already, and that’s before getting the DVD. Now, can I get any of you cunts a drink?

Vague plan for 2005, is perhaps to get round to updating the Trash City Top 50 Films. It’s been five years since the last time this was done, so it’s well past due. Though since this task will likely need to involve re-viewing all the current candidates, plus any new contenders, it’s obviously going to be a lengthy, if unquestionably pleasurable, operation. Of course, normal viewing of new movies will also continue!