Trash City: Cont-anime-T Special

This is a special, not really to be counted, issue of TC produced for (or rushed out for, to be more accurate) this wonderful anime convention which you’re probably at – I say ‘probably’, as I’ll probably be getting rid of excess copies from now till the year 2525.

Some words for those of you unfamiliar with the TC concept. It is NOT a 100% anime ‘zine – while there’s been a gradual increase in the anise content, most notably in our annual(ish) Oriental specials, it started off being devoted mostly to schlock horror movies, but has now slid sideways into covering anything deemed ‘kinda interesting’ by the editor. In the past, this has meant Traci Lords rubbing shoulders with Bambi, articles on necrophilia next to pieces on ‘The Railway Children’, etc, etc. If you’re interested, I’ll probably be flogging copies of the latest issue on the table at the con. Should I have run out (ever the optimist!), contact me thus:
Jim McLennan
34 Perran Road
Tulse Hill
LONDON
SW2 3DL.
Send me a quid if you want a copy.

redits: This entire creature was the brainchild of Jim McLennan, and no blame should be attached to Steve, Per, Paul or anyone else on the stall. Kanji Bates probably has to take some responsibility, however, for photo-copying the creature, thereby saving me from having to spend several long evenings hanging round the office until the place was empty, so I could use the copier.

No rights reserved, feel free to copy any of this, though since I nicked most of it, you might want to exercise a little care. But as most of the artists are probably somewhere in California, you should be ok (though wouldn’t it be a surprise if they turned up at the con?). The back cover originally appeared in the May 92 ‘Scanners’, the newsletter of the Southern California Animation Network, and I would have cleared it with the editor, Mr. Adam Chaney (a man of unbounded generousity, albeit with an unnerving tendency to occasionally drive on the wrong side of the road), had I thought about it in time.

The core of this special issue is a reprint of a very strange piece of fan art which I picked up (literally, a pile of them were lying on a table) at AnimeExpo in the States earlier this year. It raises a whole batch of interesting questions, some of which are mentioned afterwards, in the bit designed to round out this creature to an appropriate, divisible by four, number of pages. There’ll be some other American strangeness as well, and I suspect that I’ll probably also have a chance to ramble on about various other topics, too, and those of you who know me will realise I’m not one to pass up such a chance…

AUTOGRAPHS! As a useful aid to con-goers, the space below this has been left blank so that you can use it to get sketches and autographs of all the famous anime guests who’ll be turning up at this event, though Will and Steve will have to draw just a little smaller than usual!

ConTanimeT ’92 Special

This was an 8-page freebie, produced so I’d have something new for ConTanimeT ’92 anime convention, at which I had a table. The Internet has little to say about this event, but I did find out it took place from October 2-4, 1992 at the New Cobden Hotel in Birmingham. Regrettably, no trace remaims of the Christian-themed Dirty Pair knock-off which was originally included in the middle. You’ll just have to go off my description and imagine it.

Issue available in:


Articles

Supplement

Out for Justice – With a plot so simplistic Bruce Lee would have rejected it (you killed my best friend and you must be able to guess the rest), Stephen Seagal demonstrates a flair for languages, speaking in English, French & Italian but failing to ACT in any of them. To be fair, with dialogue like “chicken-shit fucking pussy asshole”, he has his work cut out. Plenty of loose ends – the Mafia run ‘around a lot without DOING anything – flail about like a pool ball in a handkerchief. And gosh, by coincidence, that’s exactly what Seagal uses to dispatch the inhabitants of a bar in which he’s “making enquiries”, LAPD style. Such brutality is the film’s only saving grace, odd flashes of wit being buried under dull melodrama. D-

Paradise – Obscure, early Phoebe Cates movie, which even I have to admit deserves to be forgotten about. A ‘Blue Lagoon’ rip-off set on land, as two kids have their families slaughtered by filthy Arabs (drag in those racial stereotypes) and manage to stumble across an oasis. However, they still have the twin problems of a) white slave traders who want to do unmentionable things to Phoebe and b) what to do with their genitals. Awful, a nice Basil Poledouris score and a lovely shower scene being the only redeeming merits, the BBFC having very unsubtly edited the solution to b) so that, whatever genitals are for, they’re nothing to do with sex. E-. It makes you realise that ‘The Blue.Lagoon’ could have been a whole lot worse. And speaking of which…

Return to the Blue Lagoon (William Grahat) Sellotape my hair to my •nipples, if it’s not a sequel to one of the most squirm-inducing movies of all time (ah, the things I watch in the name of TC). Actually, and I didn’t expect to be saying this, it’s not that bad. Ok, it’s no classic, still being sanitized, schmaltzy and saccharine, but it’s not THAT bad. The first section is salvaged by a surprisingly good performance from Lisa Pellikan as their mother, making the plot convolutions ALMOST plausible, and her death is not unmoving. Then, it’s virtually a straight re-run, with Milla Jovovich an entirely acceptable replacement for Brooke Shields as Miss Jailbait and Brian Krause subbing for, um…anyone remember? Their idyllic life of sun, sea, sand and writhing on the beach is terminated by civilization arriving. Or at least a ship’s captain, his daughter (who pounces on Krause like a hungry panther), and a crewman who demonstrates a startling lack of imagination by trying, of all things, to ROB Jovovich. Entirely predictable chewing-gum for the libido, I was pleasantly surprised – then again, I wasn’t expecting very much to start with. C

Roningai (Kazuo Kuroki) – A samurai version of ‘A Better Tomorrow 2’, with three renegades (one of whom even owns a restaurant!) against vast numbers of villains. The cause of the swordplay is a band of psychotic samurai who are going round killing prostitutes, to cleanse the world. However, when they kidnap one beloved by our three heroes and tie her to two bulls going in different directions, they have quite definitely Gone Too Far and we get a 3 vs. 120 swordfight which, while not gory, has the most vicious SOUNDING swordplay I’ve seen – or rather, heard. A grubbily historical feel (a bit like ‘Django’) and cool characters make this one to watch. B

This page, a subscribers only freebie, was produced on a wet Tuesday morning at work, to use up a couple of reviews I didn’t have room for in the full ‘zine, but was loathe to dump, and to provide a taste of colour, something that might be used more fully next issue. The picture on the other side is an example of Japanese culture which, curiously, the recent festival managed to miss…

Thanks to Kanji Bates for “technical assistance”!