In which we publish some of the more interesting, amusing or plain strange communications received here at TC Towers...

Definitely the oddest email received this year. Spelling, punctuation and grammar as received

Subject: The Asian Witch
28th December, 2002

my business is main on biological and genetic field ,not computer or internet, internet business is just for my interest only.. I main live on social assistance, so i don't care if i have no money or not , i only busy about my research on biological and chemical study , i hope before i die , anyone that hurt me before, they have their return........

i have sick for 10 years time, and i was unemployed for more than 4 years , and i am under social assiatance, though i have got five distinction in the university. This is my business , i will never give up it, though i make a little money through it... i will continue, as i find it useful to my life (as i can do business in my own, and study what i want, not just web design, but all field include genetic research)

(that is a story, i beat my classmate in university after i have got five distinction because they tease me ( because i was sick) , and then i join the police force, although i was sick for 6 year at that time , but i was still the fittness in the class. I will continue my research in all field for myself until one day , the people that teased me , give me trouble in the pass , return to me)

Compenation I
I wish to claim for $10000 thousands for compensation from a dentist-Ng X Chun, address : 271 Queen’s Road West, HK, Tel: 25401xxx. At April 1989, Ng Hung Chun start to perform surgery on me. And after that, I nearly sick for ten years’ time. The sympthon include my heart feel pain, always go to toilet, become short sight , always cough (about 5 seconds each time) , cannot breathe, respiratory system problem, and always feel tired. After I cure my teeh in 1999, all the sympthon disappear (including my short sight). I am the first in the class in form 3 and form 4 , I have got a distinction in HKCEE , and 5 distinction in year 1 of City University (Computer Engineering (Hons) Degree Course ) . I have joined the Hong Kong Police Force in 1995 and I was the fittest in the class. But actually, I always cough in the Police Training School and have all the above sympthon. But my spirit and belief is so strong that I continue and finally I gradrate from Police School with thrid in the class. I suffer a lot is that only a careless or even the dentist have no responsibility and no compensation at all ?

I want to state that :
1) after the first treatment ten years age, my cum was swollen, and I went to see the dentist again , and the dentist told me that it is not his fault, may be I have to brush my teeth my frequently and he can’t do anything .
2) after the second year of the first treatment and third year and so on , he told me the same things.
3) Finally, in 1999, he told me that he had left a copper wire inside my tooth, so I always feel sick.

Compenation II
I wished to claim $1000 thousands as damages against a Chinese herbalist for medical negligence. In March 1999, I was treated by Mr Wong X Ngai, address: Des Voeux Road West, Tin Hing Praza, HK. Tel: 25467xxx. a herbalist practicing Chinese medicine, for pocks on my penis. During the surgery, I saw the herbalist using a needle , a burner and some oxidizing agent and some toxic and dangerous substances to treat me. After that, the herbalist applied bandage to my penis and instructed me to unseal the bandage the following night. After that night, my penis was swollen. And from then on, I have pain when having sex. I am now under treatment at Kwong Wah Hospital.

I want to state that:
1) the herballist-Wong X Ngai, carry out surgery for me that is against the law (he is not allow to carry surgery for anyone)
2) he instructed to unseal the bandage after next day night, that made my penis swollen and may cause its’ cell die as the blood can not reach it as he seal it very tight.
3) after that, he gave me some medicine that include drugs and pellets that I think he has no knowledge and ceritificate to prove that he can give to his patient for treatment. The medical report from Kwong Wah Hospital state that there was no skin ulcer nor eryhtema over the glans penis and shaft of penis. The skin over glans penis was dry but without any skin rash. But actually, I fell pain during sexal intercourse. Especially, I undergo a blowing job.
4) the herballist-Wong X Ngai tigthen my penis using some cloth (they are yellow and old) that seen to be used many times.
5) the herballist-Wong X Ngai and his father nearly fought each other during the surgery.

Compenation III
In this crazy world, there is totally no equal to me, I must do something for myself.. My girl friend left me because the Police got my personal information and abusing her (because she is beautiful)....

The following was received through, the business I run with Chris, selling beads and jewellery supplies. It has nothing to do with movies, but does have a link back here...

Dana Rogers
29th October, 2001

I was looking at your website more closely this afternoon and was very disappointed to find Trash City Magazine. The information contained in this magazine was very saddening to me. I am a Christian woman and I love the Lord Jesus Christ. The movie reviews were very offensive to me. I really feel that I can no longer do business with Trash City because of the offensive nature of this material..I love the Lord and can't stand by while he is protrayed in a false way. My prayer is that one day you will accept the Lord as your personal Savior and will see the truth. In Prayer, Dana Rogers You have some awesome beads at good prices, but I must take a stand for my Lord.

Nice to see Christianity as tolerant of divergent opinions as ever. But don't think she's being fair - I actually *liked* The Omega Code...

Gene Gregorits
27th October, 2001

I just spent two hours pouring over your Trash City site and reading reviews. Maaaan, some of the best sleaze film writing I've yet seen. Mightily impressed by what you've amassed. My greasy clutches tingle for the life-affirming weight of a Trash City magazine. I put out something called Sex & Guts: Cruel and Unusual Entertainment, which is basically the same format that Trash City seems to be....well, if S&G has a format. #1 was 40 pages, #2 was 104, #3-just released-is 70. Anyway, I thought you might wanna check out the new S&G site. Until Nov. 3rd, you can see it at After then, it will be

I disagree with your reviews of many of my favorite films, but your points are always valid and make me re-examine my own verdicts on things. That takes some cunning and wit and real articulation, man. My hat is fucking OFF. You give us exploitation/dirty art (arty dirt?) slobs a REALLY good name. And we NEED a good name, with scumrags like Blackest Heart pockmarking the Face of Fandom.

Well, that cheered me up! And having checked out the site, it gets the TC seal of approval. Go visit.

12th October, 2001

Your reviews are pessimistic bullshit. I am sorry but I think you might need to watch Fear and Loathing and Requiem for a Dream over again.

I would, but I fear I might slash my wrists. :-) After all, if you though my reviews were pessimistic - B- for Requiem is above average - I don't know what you make of the movie itself, in which everyone dies or goes mad. As for Fear, the book is much better.
19th September, 2001


To which my reply was, "LOL! And you believe this because...?". Shortly thereafter, I got a panicked email saying, "Do not contact this email address again, or legal action will be taken, and because of your, ahem carreer [sic] options, you won't have a chance in hell, of winning. PROFESSIONAL 'MEN' AND WOMEN AGAINST SEXPLOITATION." Needless to say, I contacted that email address again...or at least tried to, only to discover that it no longer existed! Guess this just goes to show how keen such people are to engage in any kind of debate, i.e. not at all...

Stellios Diakou
24th July, 2001

how the hell can u give falling down an A-. Its the biggest piece of shit its every been my misfortune to watch. Its not funny, its not any kind of comment on society. Its about a guy who's pissed of in his job taking it out on other people who are pissed of in their jobs. He's kicking down hardly taking on the powers that be. It kept me interested for four minutes and that was when I was 17. Come on get real. Low rent juvenile shit!

Clearly irritated the hell out of you, which is reason enough. And it made me laugh, almost as much as your letter. What can I say?

Bill Buehler
21st July, 2001

Subject: thanx god

wow. i look up robocop 2 on a late night pointless web rampage, and am overjoyed to find your site, which is, if I may say so, "cool." Using big words for small ideas is the only way to go.

ps give me a job.

Carl Bufuric
19th July, 2001

Subject: sure it has one

I Carl Bufuric, sitting in internet caf, and frustrated, I'm find friend for weeks and weeks, and not know where to find, my English bad, please forgive me, but I ask you please help me find my wife. She not my wife, yet, but my wife soon, I order her on internet, company in englnad when I visiiit, she is with many Russian giorls and Ukraine girls all wishing for getting out of Russia and Ukraine and meet foreign men, husbands that are good to them. I am one such husband, man who love his wife always; I speak bad English, but am charming man, good looking, I have moustache, and treat woman kingly.   I know you not know me, but I ask you please to help me.

This is from here chest, so I really ask you please understand why I am doing this. 2000, I ask agency in lOndon to please find me for company of wives in= London, to find my darling Natasha Kalinski, whom I met some months back through people help girls leave Russia and Ukraine. I am so unhappy for so many years and then met the most wonderful woman. Natasha is sensitive, she is kind and has a heart of gold, and now I loose her. She have beauty face, heart very good inside. Her English was so pefect; yes, she Russian but speak beautifully, she speaks with Russian accent, but good good English.

Help mefind my darling wife, Natasha Kalinski, I miss her. Please, anyone with any information leading to my finding her, please be so emergency to get her to call me. Or London company. I am Carl Bufuric of Germany, and would like to be re-united with Natasha, bride for me lady; I wish to include foto in this letter, so that yousee she beautiful she is. I meet her off Internet, on website and want to fly to United Kingdom where people help me make arrangements to meet Natasha I write letters to correspond again; I since travel back to my home in United States and wish to have information- please, to locate my wife.

My wife (yes!) is Russian to be, student of school literature In Russia, woman of sensibility, she very kind and homely, wants children (3) and look after me, because that is what Russian women and Ukrainian women do to love man, I spend many years in Europe to know this. I first felt for Natasha, for her when I read her letter last year - when she start writing to me, and she tells me of the civil police and how they watch her every move and she is so afraid. I am scared for her

She write, and I am afraid for Natasha:

,,There is constant belief our government is hiding something from us. I know they are. We are afraid because we don't know when we are being watched, so we must always act as if we are...just in case!,,

I want Natasha out of Russia save in USA with me she so beautiful woman and deserve peace and childrenb. I write to ask please help me find Natasha on Internet, I all the time look at her foto and know that she needs me; so I write to people on website and beg them to bring my Natasha to safety to my arms.

People in London look after me, they name of company is with LADIES, name I remember adoring, maybe ,,adorable,,,?? I bthink ,,adorable-ladies,,, is the name, but I can not find, polease send me informashion on internet name: they know I can provide for Natasha, I have my own business, but do not speak English very well myself, In construction, own much equipment, so need help; I not know computer and internet, so I struggle a lot to find people. I love my Natasha, my Russian bride, she has such beautiful dark brown eyes - big verty big - she long black hair, very friendly, smiling all the time, beauty white teeth, and dresses black long overcoat; I treat her somuch like a lady, she is a lady all the time, I just want to find my treasure woman, all my life I never meet so wonderful womn as Natasha

I want find Natasha on internet, I think ,,adorable-ladies,, is name, but what I do to find name on internet, no one knows, if you know, please let me know. I remember it was lots of picshures of women, loots of girls from Ukraine and Russia, beautiful women all wanting to get men husbands of English they love and American, they want liove in America and Ostralia. Picshures of women on internet is whatr youy see when you find page with picshures, women, hundreds blondesm, redshairs, blackhair, nad also all agesss, beauutfil women, adiroble, I think ,,?? adorable-womans because I remember have "adorable" yes.

www.adorable-ladies?????? Contack me in America, tell me Natasha is finded and I thank thank you,, I know for rela it was ADORABLE and with LADIES also; have ,,-,, in middle to bring words,m= for business card, but loss informashion, if you can help, pleas help thankyou.

Juan Jos
12th December, 2000

Subject: Your guess is as good as mine; valid contender for least coherent spam ever?

[Spelling and punctuation as received. Broken into paragraphs by me in a desperate-but-futile quest for legibility]

Hello, Many thanks by its interes.

The base contains the following data in format txt. In this format is possible to utilize the programs that includes the CD. This it is the detail:

Of free accounts (AOL-Hotmail-Freemail, etc), also of hablahispana: 180.000 commercial Controls (Hispanic) : 40.000 (what does not imply that among theDemas directions not exist commercial).

In the punctual case of Argentina, exists but informacion because we have placed special atencion in the zone, by commercial questions. Of this pais, ademas of him mentioned, there is a base in excel of 130.000 directions of businesses with name and mail electronico, a pack of directions gubernamentales, journalists, professional and state agencies (around 150.000 data in total) : Ademas, an estadistica of the better businesses positioned as for facturacion annual, he contains all the data including quantityOf employees and mount of facturacion (some and-mails they lack here).

The remainder is a recopilacion of the demas countries of the world of other tongues, exclusively and-mails and they are 70millones. It includes the programs that were utilized for recopilar the information and for the envios. With these programs podra to organize the base of way personalizada. To group the directions by pais, server, order alfabetico, etc. To perform the I send masivo of their message and to extract directions of mail of the web, groups of news that permit it to expand the base according to their needs.

The modality implemented for the delivery of this CD is via correspondence certified to the place that you indicate, against payment of the I mount mentioned by means of turn by Western Union, Money Gram or transferencia banking. By said payment will send it the corresponding invoice together with the CD and a copy advanced by and-mail.

Well, I'm glad all that's cleared up...

Plamen Gueorguiev
6th January, 1904
[That's what his computer says, anyway!]
Subject: Unclear, but probably The Trash City World Cup

here's something you may want to know about the bulgars:
plus make a search on John Atanasoff (the inventor of the first electonic computer)
it's best to be informed before making big generalsations, ok?
in the end of the day it does not matter what your nation is famous for.
What matters is what you are worth.

a pride bulgar

I did look up Atanasoff. He was born in Hamilton, New York, actually...

Stephen Dixon
14th November, 2000
Subject: Selling England by the decagram

The problem the UKIP has with metrication is not with its introduction or use but with the criminalisation of those who use weights and measures. Clearly also, the imperial weights and measures system cannot be considered anachronistic if a majority of people want to use it.

You touch on the subject of empire. This is apt, as we are becoming part of one, the EU. However, whereas the British empire bequeathed democracy to the world, the EU is governed by the increasingly powerful, unelected and therefore unaccountable commission.

Concerning Napoleon, it is interesting to note he opposed the introduction of metric measurement, which was the independent achievement of his generals. France actually used the same system of weights and measures as us at the time so it is hardly surprising he didn't mention our use of pounds and ounces as a distinctive British activity. It was also distinctively French and indeed European.

The UKIP opposes the single currency not so much because of economic issues which are a red herring. Parliament fought long and hard for control of the public purse which is central to parliamentary democracy. Without parliamentary democracy, the freedoms you enjoy would indeed eventually be at risk.

The single currency is being introduced specifically to ensure an integrated political superstate. Again on the subject of anachronisms, the single currency had its origins in the 1940s and 1950s and many economists now believe it to be out of date as an economic theory with any pretence to respectability. In the age of the master card, which is global not European, there is another anachronism.

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