Spike and Mike's Sick & Twisted Animation Show 1998 (various artists) -
Tempe, Arizona, 4th of March 1998
This American Ambassador is writing to inform her European and American fans
of Trash City that there is life outside of the pub and strip clubs. That out
there you will find what you are looking for. That there is meaning to our
dull and dreary existences. And we can find this in trying to put reason or
rhyme behind what I just witnessed tonight.
Anyone with a penchant for the sick and twisted, the rude and the offensive
will certainly have their needs satisfied after witnessing the Animation
Festival I just attended in the small dreary little college town of Tempe
Arizona, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks, the Cardinals, the Rattlers and the
Coyotes.. And now the dwelling for the next 10 days of Spike and Mike's Sick
and Twisted Animation Festival..
Let's start with the announcement.. "Anyone who is offended by sick, twisted,
rude and offensive material can just get the fuck out and we will be happy to
give you a refund"
In the meanwhile, let's take a peek at what we saw tonight, that might have
been misconstrued as such by some -- or should I say most? I have never laughed
so hard in my life. 24 short cartoons were shown depicting everything from "A
to Zits" including such delights as: bestiality, pedophilia, gaseous bodily
functions, oral sex, religious offenses. and full penetration (shown for the
first time here) along with a South Park episode on the big screen that will
stay in my mind forever.
All the cartoons were 5 minutes or less with a 15 minute intermission
And although there were a couple of shorts that were extraordinarily offensive
(and I mean "gagging to death"), they were mostly very funny and entertaining
and I recommend Spike and Mike to anyone who is not:
- a.) squeamish
- b.) religious
- c.) easily offended
- d.) dead
- e.) legless
Following are short synopses of the cartoons shown on this tour:
- "Use Instructions"
Does anyone like butts? Asses? Backsides? Anus(es)? (Or is it "Ani" ?), and all
manner of things that emerge from them? This is the ultimate butt selective
video I have ever seen.. Every imaginable type of ass in all manner of
conceivable situations...
- "Jurassic Fart"
No description necessary. The sound effects will keep me up for weeks.. It was
great.
- "Dirdy Birdy"
Ah... the adventures of Dirdy Birdy and Fergurina the Cat in a tree.. This one
is excellent.
- "Illusions of Life"
Very strange look at the life of a man who totally hates his mother..
Interesting if nothing else.
- "Finger Food"
The phrase "Calgon, take me away" will take on a totally different meaning
after viewing this one...as well as ever eating at a fast food restaurant ever
again... Let's say zits and french fries in one breath and leave the rest to
your imagination...
- "Smoking"
Their version of an anti smoking ad and pretty effective if not completely
gruesome... also very good
- "Barflies"
I thoroughly enjoyed this one.. but I am a Claymation fan from way back in the
Davey and Goliath days.. so it may not count, but these barflies were funny as
shit and very many of us can completely relate to the antics of two drunk-out-
of-their-skins assholes who will do anything for a laugh...
- "Booby Trap"
Set in a strip club, it is a complete parody of the general Japan anime genre
including the wonderful way the Japanese make us talk in their cartoons and
thankfully including a cat fight between a stripper and...I dare not say WHAT
she is fighting because it is too gross. But it is worth the watch..
- "Big Top Asshole"
No description necessary, except that it is full of gore and I loved the Lion
Tamer getting stuck in the Lion's cage with catnip in the seat of his pants..
hehehehe
- "Little Rude Riding Hood"
Yes, the old story with a new twist. No, she won't swallow and you'll find
out why they call her "red". Really great and disgusting all in one.
- "Ah L'Amour"
This is an excellent pencil drawing animation that is very graphic in it's
depiction of what women want from men. The phrase "I have Money" will take on
new meanings... I want this T-Shirt!
- "Hut Sluts"
Summer and Tiffany are two California babes with partying in mind and they get
it worse than they ever imagined. "yes, I got this tattoo in prison"..I
will say no more...except maybe "blueballs" and I loved the fact that the
asshole wore a condom (just to promote safe sex).
- "Fast Driver"
"Drive, Fast Racer, drive Fast Racer, Drive"
This was my favorite I think. Based on a parody of the cartoon "Speed Racer"
(I used to love to watch Speed Racer when I was a kid and had the theme song
memorized) This cartoon depicted him as a total queer with an even queerer
family (or friends.. whatever they were) and the portrayal was excellent in
its severe overplaying of the emotions and action typical in anime.
- "Home, Honey, I'm High"
Yep, just what you think it is. Donna Reed's family hooked on drugs. It was
great.
- "Sea Slugs"
What do you do with a drunken sailor slug? Send him out to sea.. Then watch
what happens...
Very short, very funny
- "Yes Timmy, There is a Santa Claus"
Although my daughter was extremely offended by this piece, it shows how sick
and twisted I am cause I was rolling in the aisles laughing at the irony of it
all... Poor Timmy...
Talk about melancholy and tortured...
- "Baby's New Formula"
This one has everything.. Cats, babies, blowjobs, alien faces, drama. Don't
miss it.
- "HornDog"
Anyone who owns a dog understands the dilemma surrounding a dog that is
*coming* of age...
- "Sloaches FunHouse"
This has to be in my opinion, the sickest, most offensive, incredibly gross
piece of claymation I have ever witnessed in my entire life. It was crowned
"The Sickest Film Ever Made" and I have to quietly agree with it. It
contained almost every possible offensive bodily function you could ever
imagine a clay figure doing. Even I was grossed out completely. And that, my
friends, is a difficult task.
- "Devil Went Down to Georgia"
Action created by the same geniuses (geniiii??) who did "Nightmare Before
Christmas" This short was great including performances by Les Claypool and the
music of Charlie Daniels. Very reminiscent of "Nightmare" and very
entertaining.
- "Lloyd's LunchBox"
This has to be the alltime disgusting animation. Several shorts showing Lloyd
doing gross things to himself that I can't even describe without gagging. The
Zit was the worst... or maybe it was the nose pick... I can't decide, but
believe me, it was gross beyond description and definitely worth watching on
an empty stomach.
- "No Neck Joe"
Just listening to the audience screaming at the top of their lungs "NO NECK
JOE" at the beginning of each nailbiting episode of No Neck Joe was worth the
time spent trying to figure out why he has no fucking neck in the first place.
- "Spirit of Christmas"
The never-meant-to-be-seen episode of South Park, that spawned this killer
animated series. Yes, folks, it's Jesus vs. Santa Claus in a knock-out, drag-out
wrestling match to determine who is the true mascot of Christmas. It was
great and the fact that it was completely uncensored had me roaring listening
to a bunch of primary school children using language that would make a truck
driver blush.
I had to get the T-Shirt and bought a couple of the videos they had on sale.
Discussed animation politics with the Em-Cee who politely told me that Wallace
and Gromit were very big in England and did I know that? (no-duh)
But all in all a worthwhile effort and one of the most memorable times I have
had in a long time, with the exclusion of the time I almost forgot to "mind
the bottle" in London. But that is another story...
[Chris Fata]
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